Sugar Coated Candy Anguish (new title?)

When then your self-pleasure
becomes self-affliction
and bearing this brokenness
is your decision
and then.you.feel
nothing is something
and something is too much
and everything felt
is another depression
a pin prick you felt
but you cannot say when
you only just noticed
it's bleeding again
the blood keeps on flowing
drip drop drip drop
the red rivers flows
and it ceases to stop
you know what this means
and you know what to call it
the reason it's coming
no, the reason beyond it
it somewhat seems magical
close to zenith
your being is floating
you cannot control it
you hear all these voices
they speak in your mind
you see all these shadows
they're creeping behind
you feel as your skin
how it withers away
the red river slows
all it leaves is a stain...

When then your self-pleasure
becomes self-affliction
and bearing this brokenness
is your life in remission...