I wanted to peel her aura off. Such a disgusting site. Dark shades of blue and purple circled around her causing me to choke. Men would drool over her body and their imagination would take them to Venus.
Her chatter would always make my ears hurt and I would want to stop it with a knife. Everyday she waited for her newest victim and one by one, they would start becoming like her.
I begged for God to show mercy and refine her into something worth being around. My hope was that she would become like an onyx with amazing colors and turn into a beautiful person, inside out.
but mercy was denied and she jumped off a bridge
a letter was found from her doctor; concerned about her aids, he wanted her on medication
I always knew that she was sick
Author notes
prompt: onyx
A contest entry
- quickie. by Kathraina.
525 points, ended October 5, 11 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
How To Leave A Comment: 1. Type Your Thoughts Out About The Poem Without Spamming. 2. Click Submit Comment and you're done. Thanks :)
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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There is no perfect beauty; only those with flaws are the gems
This is well done. The disgust spews from the page, it has a bite. Congrats on the bronze 
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Beauty is rarely perfect, and it may be fundamentally flawed. The rough quartz which attracts our eye with its innate beauty may easily shatter with careless handling. It is broken and gone, lost to itself, lost to the greater appreciation which might have been realized with careful polishing .
In this prose poem the poet makes effective use of the metaphor to reflect on a beautiful person lost to the consequences of a too care free way of life before the fullness of her grace was brought to light.
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Let me offer a WoW and I dont mean World of Warcraft.
This is quite intense. I havent seen the prompt so I am reading from my own blind spot
. Still, This could be part of a much longer piece and it would have me wanting to know more, but feeling as if I know too much already.
Vivid, and emotionally charged read for me.
Glad I stopped by
Vi- -
wowowow! very powerful write, these words are so harsh and enduring! brilliant take on the prompt; you took it to a place i didn't already know!
bravo and thank you for entering
♥ kate -
interesting take on the prompt..
good closing
Men would "droll" you mean drool?
Tasha
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I was eating my breakfast when I read the first line and I started choking slightly and wishing I hadn't been eating cause the imagery is strong and yucky
Fantastic
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Wonderful
Very creative and well written. Best of luck in the contest
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interesting read...the old adage be careful what you wish for springs to mind...this swings from jealousy to disgust to pity to indifference, well in my mind anyways
I enjoyed it, and beauty is as they say only skin deep, it also takes beauty to see past that.. good luck
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Oops, gotta run, will be back to comment
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