Touching the unemployed

Its 8:30pm and Ive decided
I  cant survive
on the butter menthols
under the passenger seat

gotta make decisions

gotta keep making decisions

even if they're the wrong decisions

if only i had a rope
and a broken leg
and a crevasse to descend into
the path would be clear

(some people are just so fucking lucky)

ok; so he lost himself

but he found his song

sure, dying and in delerium
dehydrating with a shattered leg
in a crevasse beneath siula grande
trying to crawl away from boney m
is a rough way
to find your song

but youve got to admire
the dedication

its hard

boiling maggi noodles at that altitude..

Im facing similar fears

Im sweating

Im whining

Im nicotine deprived 

ive got the beginnings of an irritating blister
and im supposed to walk the big hill
between Sankey Street and Hilltop Parade?

It just isnt going to happen.

You have to understand the gravity of the situation

this is coming off the back of a half hour drive
and a 4 block walk
having only had a pepsi max
and a lonely malcontented hotbox spring roll..

a professional dole rorter
would rest for days
after something like that

Even a superfit pack-a-day mans
not goin to do that

so i think thats when i really started to fragment

i started giving myself times
like can i make it past the office works
to the Captain Snooze in under 10 minutes.

That one bright moment
I did pass a corner store
they were closing and irritated that
i got them to switch on the register

for 1 chocolate frog 

and a killer python

the guy pointed out the rust
on my jerry can
i smiled and responded

after i left

After that it was a slow gradual decline;

at one point i lay spread eagled no shame on the footpath
lay there for ages sweating buckets

needing a piss so bad
I wished I had some tena lady pads
so I could let a bit go

but i still held out hope
for a white plastic seat
and a soap dispenser

 money

fuel
the drunk couple

stepping over me
it all meant nothing

this was just a
dirty little busstop
these were just mindless

tasks

eventually I crawled
ungraciously
to my feet
and hallucinated two friends stopping to give me a ride
but it was a bunch of louts
in a put-a-penny in it Daewoo
who slowed for a bit then sped off
snorting with laughter..

I  did tell myself 1.5 litres with a racing stripe and a frangipani
on the rear windscreen
was not very intimidating
It was a little like having

4 failed out-of-work clowns in a mini
pull up beside you and honk their noses

so after the clowns

 I just didnt care

took a squat on a sidestreet

zoned out after that

for what seemed the longest time

After a while
there was a strong smell

i couldnt work out what it was
took me ages
to work out what it was..

it was the piss on my hands

from the squat earlier

I was still there

and I sort of came to
called out

and when noone answered..
and I realised noone was there..
noone was going to ask me
if I needed cheap fuel
or a small piece of loo paper

the bubble burst

and I kept thinking
if the servo's closed when i get there
Ill sit alone
drenched in urine
with an empty jerry can
on the outskirts
of Slowood

it was too unbearable to think about