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Drowning Without Water



I seem to breathe frugally now,
just enough to live.

When you hold and kiss me,
look into my eyes,
my breath comes short.

Not just the way it used to, but
in a way that frightens me.

Maybe it’s a combination:
how I love you (you always took my breath) and that
now I realize

life is finite -- truly short.
I am my father, seeking oxygen through failing lungs.

Drowning without water.


Author notes

All prompts seem to apply in interesting ways.

Lilac Moon

A contest entry

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

  • abu nuwas
    November 27
    ?
    Edit | Reply

    Poignant

    Just that. You seem to have vanished, maybe just busy.

    I was hoping for your comments on my latest before it had bedded down too much-- but maybe as and when?

    E

  • ocerus
    October 6

    Edit | Reply
    Tragically sad. As a heavy smoker I naterally understand the poigiant message. You've been turning out a lot of very good ones lately, and athough it hurts to read them they are worth reading by anyone - especailly a heavy smoker!

    • Lilac Moon silver member
      October 8
      Edit | Reply
      Oce --

      I smoke, too.

      Thank you for your comment...

      Sad thing is, my father quit smoking DECADES before he died. His death had nothing to do with smoking and everything to do with a drug prescribed for his heart arrhythmia. Its side effect was severe lung toxicity and I could probably have sued his doctor (but that's another and looooong story).

      Sad and so ironic...

      Again, thanks Oce

      Lilac Moon