often I find words too little, too much,
and my breath falls short
maybe love hesitates
when the door closes,
and your footsteps fade,
leaving me leaning against
cold shadows
thoughts abandon the empty heart
now waiting for forgotten apologies
and the light dims, and snow falls, but the doorbell rings
not once
sometimes dreams become nightmares, and the alarm clock
no longer sound
just a cold mattress, with a wet pillow,
and the dozen dry roses from years ago
maybe hope breaks her wings,
and distance becomes
just mere dates,
like the calender still hanging
from the year 1989
in a cobweb-covered master bedroom
I clutch the key even in my sleep
A contest entry
- The Hanging Key by CarolDesjarlais.
1400 points, ended October 5, 13 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Invite only (Round 5) by Blue-Rose Beauty.
1150 points, ended October 19, 9 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Suggestions?
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Gosh.. Just amazing. Just blew me away.
maybe love hesitates
when the door closes,
and your footsteps fade,
leaving me leaning against
cold shadows
So true!!
Great job and thanks for entering my contest.
- polymerized
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Excellent
What a beautiful write So very touching. And so deserving of the silver. Congratulations
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congrats on the silver
stunnng my friend stunning
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Wow wow wow you have amazing talent I am mesmerised , captivated and entranced and the poem is like molten honey on my tongue with just a bit of vinegar and mingled long shed saline tears.Thanks for sharing .Take care...
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nonspringable shown well
expressions succeeded in they gave uncommoness mouthed as surprise from becoming typical's life
you picked up the pace of introspectiveness needing to be experienced because of something the way stanza two winds up. yet there's an emptying of that almost giving up on not prioritizing it before, by next vacant feeling
then it rings through that cringe, scened exceptionally at "and the light dims, and snow falls, but the doorbell rings" admittedly ["not once" that is in cin continuity]
the ending has a hiding notation on the treasure chest really being gone or with twisted lock of "mere dates" melding as only once on history's tease it seems
deservedly silver,
carolyn
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wow, has it been that long? 1989 .... damn that is a long time ago isn't it nonetheless your mind is still fresh and going strong.
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Congrats on the Silver. A very enjoyable piece.
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Congrats on your silver, Sweetie.
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This is beautifully sad and dark...much congrats on the silver!
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Oh another cliche that is alluded to, but beautifully so. Nice language and descriptions..a story without being told the story...you showed me. bravo!
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one of my favorite writes by you : )
"and the light dims, and snow falls, but the doorbell rings
not once " --- quiet and beautiful.
i love the stanza about the calender too, it reminded me of the short story "A Rose for Emily" about a woman who stays in a house and sits with her wedding stuff all day, because her fiance died just before the wedding, after leaving her. and she lies on a bed next to his skeleton or something, and sits there with the same old brush and the wedding dress and such;
your poem is wonderfuls
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"and the light dims, and snow falls, but the doorbell rings
not once"...good line...I remember those times.
nice simile, "like the calendar from 1989" specific year is especially effective.
This is a very fine poem.
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It's good to see a write from you again.
There's some wonderful imagery in this and raw emotions aswell!!
All the best to you in the contest buddy. Be well.
Ken
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Ages and I mean ages since you wrote. This is perfect.
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