I ache within,
It hurts so bad,
And nothing is even real.
How to stop this hurt inside,
Numb the pain I feel.
Stuff it down, and down, and down,
And it will go away,
If only for a minute,
Then the price I pay.
I know it isn't worth it,
I die with every bite,
It's stupid to hope living like this
That I'll ever see the light.
For moment I'm not lonely,
For a moment I feel fine,
For a moment I feel happy
Living like a swine.
but then that moments over,
Reality floods back in.
I've never felt more guilty,
The room just seems to spin.
I cry each night
And wake each day,
Hating myself more.
I have no control
I'm worthless
Nothing but a fat whore.
But each day repeats the cycle,
And I'm farther gone everyday.
I don't know how to ask for help,
'Cuz I just don't know what to say.
I'm ever so lonely,
And severely depressed,
But how far I'm gone
Nobody could guess.
My addiction is the dirtiest
I've ever known
But it keeps me from feeling quite so alone.
I'm not gonna lie,
I shall hide it no more,
I won't even try to pretend.
The saddest truth,
I hate to speak,
But food is my only friend.
And with friends like that, who needs enemies?
Author notes
Inspired by reading up a bit on binge eating disorder, which is lesser known and far less glamorized than disorders which may cause individuals to lose weight, such as anorexia and bulimia. It's not as well known, so I thought I'd try to capture what a sufferer might feel and put you inside their head so as to better understand.
Sorry if it sucks.
The past few months I've had major writer's block, and lost my mojo. Do you think I got my mojo back, or does this poem just suck?
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Oh my gosh i love it! Great poem! Sad but great!
your an awesome poet keep writing! I spose what makes me like it so much is that i can relate.
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This is indeed a very intense, sad write... You did capture the feelings well. I think...
Disorders like this needs to be understood, for it is deeply rooted inside a person, I believe... And it will be hard to bring them back when they to far gone...
I loved the way you wrote this...
Keep your pen flowing with ink that never fades
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This is such a sad write and so many have such disorders and it is simply heartbreaking. Nice job and thank you for taking the time to share
huggles
Lena -
it's not the best poem that I've read all day, but it is honest. I appreciate that as a reader.
Thank you. -
its good.. doesnt suck.. though a lil harsh.. but so is truth at times.. great job.. and thank you for sharing it..
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such a pain in this write and the message you have told.. so many have this addiction so many know one will know they hide behind the bathroom door to stuff the food with in only to find when they are done .. why or why this sin Hugs always and thank you for sharing your pen Angel♥
awesome !!!
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Mojo is definately back, good one!
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