i was in the kitchen
hoping my dark eyes could glow
like something meaningful
when you caught me
on fire.
you held tight to my fragile wrists,
replacing my bracelets and scar tissue
with something less tangible
but something that touched
deeper than bone.
that was the summer i stopped being beautiful.
-
you ask why i write so many poems
about nirvana and chemistry and
hazel eyes and being loved when
i never will.
i wish i could confess that i only write about
things i want and will never have
but i know you've seen
the poems about you,
so i don't.
-
this isn't about you understanding me,
or even the conversations close to midnight
when i have planes crashing in my eyes because
someone wants to steal my lungs for
longer than i can take.
this is about the time
i didn't text back and you called
to ask where i was and i laughed
like someone worth falling in love with
and said, "austria," when really i meant
crying and writing about rainstorms
or sequinned ballet flats
or you.
-
you like spanish and dinosaurs
and the way my hands are always
cold.
i like karma and glitter
and knowing what's going
to happen.
i don't like loving you,
but i have to.
-
i slip a poem under your pillow one night
while you sleep off your saddest high
and i know it's about us and not
about velociraptors or skydiving
or my legs wrapped
around your back
or anything you
really want
but maybe
it (or i)
could be
enough.
-
it isn't and i'm not and
you go and shut the door
quietly.
i think we can agree that somehow,
we never really leave each other
but this is not the last time
you will take something with you
like a year of my life
my favourite silver ring
my belief in poetry
or the left side of my ribcage,
bones, heart and all.
Author notes
it's never coming back. it's never coming back. it's never coming back.
A contest entry
- Silver dollars and empty lungs (prewrites) by Writing0Freedom.
600 points, ended December 1, 279 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
i am yours.
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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"i wish i could confess that i only write about
things i want and will never have
but i know you've seen
the poems about you,
so i don't."
i love that. so much.
you probably don't realize how often i send your poetry to my friends, telling them how awesome i think you are. i can't get enough of your poetry, you speak to me and i can relate to so much of what you're saying that it hurts. i don't know how to phrase it in any other way other than saying i love your writing.
-
you held tight to my fragile wrists,
replacing my bracelets and scar tissue
with something less tangible
but something that touched
deeper than bone.
- that hurt. this all hurt while reading, it was so beautiful, and stark amazing. i realise i can't really use stark like that, but wutevs. idc
the last stanza is my favorite its so goddamn emotional. it's just crazy amazing.
thank you for entering this in my contest, its a finalist. -
i've read this so much.
-
you held tight to my fragile wrists,
replacing my bracelets and scar tissue
with something less tangible
but which touched deeper
than bone.
this is sooo beautifull!!
and sad
but amazing
-
I think this was one of the most beautiful and saddest things I've ever read, it was gorgeous, and heartbreaking and brought tears to my eyes. You have left me speechless. amazing.
"it isn't and i'm not and
you go and shut the door
quietly.
i think we can agree that somehow,
we never really leave each other
but this is not the last time
you will take something with you
like a year of my life
my favourite silver ring
my belief in poetry
or the left side of my ribcage,
bones, heart and all."
-
today during an IM chat i randomly copy/pasted the last two stanzas of this and showed one of my friends. who was, in turn, quite impressed by your talent.
haha, i think i like... brag about knowing you. you're so talented. -
i think i have four of your poems on bookmark and that's it.
i'll be adding this.
your writing is just so incredible.
"this isn't about you understanding me,
or even you talking to me somewhere close to midnight
when i have planes crashing in my eyes because
someone wants to steal my lungs for
longer than i can take." -damn.
-
I've heard that love is a chemical reaction in the brain that causes delusion.
I don't know a lot about many things, but I do have a firm understanding of love. I know how it rages at times like a storm, leaving everything a terrible mess. I know that it curtails lives, bleeds us emotionally dry at times leaving us to wonder, "Isn't there a simpler version?"
A few moments ‘in love' are better than a dream unfulfilled.
Starting, stopping, falling in, falling out; it's all exercise for our spirit.
Perhaps some have not evolved sufficiently, maybe something is missing from their DNA, possibly...real, pure love, is waiting for them like a dormant pathogen somewhere, biding its time, until the broken hearted and or inept, have been weakened.
I've said this before, but it's worth repeating, and that is: you write like your soul is very old.
-
Amazing
-
this is about the time
i didn't text back and you called
to ask me where i was and i laughed
like someone worth falling in love with
and said, "austria," when really i meant
crying and writing about rainstorms
or sequinned ballet flats
or you.
~~~~~~~~
it isn't and i'm not and
you go and shut the door
quietly.
i think that we can agree that somehow,
we never really leave each other
but this is not the last time
you will take something with you
like a year of my life
my favourite silver ring
my belief in poetry
or the left side of my ribcage,
bones, heart and all.
~~~~~~
this was sad but amazing. i was teary eyed. this one has so much meaning and emotion behind it. it was hard to really mark my favorite parts. thumbs up to you
-
aanika
So sad and yet so beautiful. So much meaning behind all of the words used to express a love that never was and never will be.
"I have planes crashing behind my eyes"
My favorite single line in the entire poem.
"like a year of my life
my favourite silver ring
my belief in poetry
or the left side of my ribcage,
bones, heart and all."
My favorite stanza in the entire poem.
Always know that, even if you aren't loved truly by the One, that you are most loved here by all of us here on AP.
Beautiful job!
-
this was so meaningful, especially the subtle pieces of beautiful imagery and truth. i felt like it was different than your other writes, in a good way of course, and i really enjoyed it. i could point out every piece of imagery i like, but i think you get the idea: i think your amazing. (:
great job!
-
it isn't and i'm not and
you go and shut the door
quietly. - so perfect.
this is about the time
i didn't text back and you called
to ask me where i was and i laughed
like someone worth falling in love with
and said, "austria," when really i meant
crying and writing about rainstorms
or sequinned ballet flats
or you. - incredible
planes crashing in my eyes - wow.
the change of pace here was SO amazing:
i slip a poem under your pillow one night
while you sleep off your saddest high
i think that we can agree that somehow, - i would omit the first "that"
the ending was incredible. i hate to say this publicly but that line is so fantastic that i'm sure so many readers are going to rephrase and use that same phrase for themselves. haha. you're fantastic.
-
this literally made my evening.
-
"or the left side of my ribcage,
bones, heart and all."
haven't commented on your work for a long time and i can't believe what i've been missing. :[
-
-
thank you so much! comments from you mean a lot to me.
-
-
aanika.
i love this so much. i like images and metaphors and velociraptors.
i like you. -
-
i always liked triceratops better.
thank you. (:
-
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