Everyone has a story.
What do the people in that house have to say?
What do they do?
How do they spend their time?
Are they so different from me?
From you?
From us and them and him and her and we and she and yall?
I want to hear their story.
I want to know how their world can shine so brightly when all I can see is the silhouette of what may be.
What may be?
Please come and inform me.
I want to know.
Is their world the same as mine?
Do they see the same stars through their technicolor sunset?
Do they laugh and love?
Do they live?
Do they live like me?
I want to see.
I want to see their story.
I want to hear.
I want to hear their triumph and their falls and catching ups.
How can they sing their song?
Can I come and sing along?
I want to hear their story.
All that is and may be is so strange to me but I know that I want to know and hear and see what may be.
Author notes
Prompt: http://scarabuss.deviantart.com/art/AA-30-137422752
Sorry if its not good-totally spur of the moment!
I want to thank everyone for the feature and all the kind comments! I really appreciate it!
A contest entry
- the precocious rounds; round one. by stasis.
1750 points, ended November 22, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Trying new things! Opinions much appreciated! :)
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Nice concept, we are often outside looking in on others, we can know so little about everyone elses lives, a good write.
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Beautiful write. I hope you place in the contest! Great format with the questions.
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great theme for a write ...the permeability of life and the multiple storylines. like that the piece has a flowing , loose structure. thanks.
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really like
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I liked this poem, wondering about the lives of others instead of just thinking about ourselves and our own concerns. Well done and keep writing.
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It sounds pretty good to me--nice work for spur of the moment! Lots of different stories and it would be great if we all sang together, wouldn't it? Nice job! By the way, I love your user name! All the best!
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Great poem quite fitting for the prompt actually, as we seem to always wonder how life is for others around us.
Congrats on being featured today and thank you so much for sharing this.
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This is really good... and specially for a spur of the moment thing. The reference you have made in this poem is omni - applicable, it can be applied to everyone from rich and poor, the old and the young ,men and women. the only thing needed is an inquisitive heart. very well written.
Thank you for sharing this with me
Congratulations on the feature
-Aalta
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You Are Featured!
Good morning from Today's Poem!
Perhaps it's just me, but I read deeper into this than simply wondering about the lives of someone in another house ~ as this could easily be about people in other parts of the world, less-fortunate people finding a way to sing their song under the silhouette of what was to be.
I enjoyed this, made wonderful sense to me! I'm sorry the judges of the contest this was in didn't seem to get it...
Nicely done, and we're looking forward to more from you soon!
~ Tim
November 25, 2009
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Title: 14/20 (tres, tres cliche.)
Creativity: 16/20
Grammar: 18/20
Relation to Prompt: 17/20
Overall Reaction: 15/20
Total: 80
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Title: 15/20
Creativity: 17/20
Grammar: 18/20
Relation to Prompt: 17/20
Overall Reaction: 15/20
Total: 82
For a spur of the moment poem, it was quite good. However, the grammar was kind of all over the place in some spots and it didn't really have much of a flow. -
For a poem that was written on the spur of the moment, it was really good!!!
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very nice...I AGREE!!!
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