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Venus Wept Today

She came from planet Venus
no perfume and no vice
no denial only innocence
not lost in Earth's device

Her eyes saw all the elements
of bitterness and war
Saw pettiness among old friends

What was that fighting for

 

Saw children lying hungry
in an alleyway today
As men in suits flew by them
without a word to say

Saw men in ragged clothing
eating out of garbage cans
While women of high fashion
passed by without a hand

Saw rats attacking babies
in their cribs in city slums
Saw bullets piercing bodies
never had the brains to run

Saw babies inside dumpsters
tossed away by teenage kids
Only caring 'bout their "happiness"
and not the things they did

Saw fathers beating children
and churches seeking coins
Withholding from all others
who did not come from their loins

She wondered if majority
was truly in the rule
Then why did these things happen
that could only show a fool

A tear was quickly forming
as she had to speed away
To return back to her planet
and report of things our way

So they saw we were not worthy
of the gifts they could bestow
But maybe in a million years
they'll return, you never know

::repeat with fade::
© 2009 Just4u. All rights reserved worldwide.

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Mari Goes gold member
    October 7

    Edit | Reply
    This made me think of the movie The Fifth Element.
    Lovely rhythm, sad reality


  • Rose Angel gold member
    October 6

    Edit | Reply
    Thought provoking mastery of pen here, friend. You were able in rhyme and flow to pen an evocative soul searching of our society in our world and to examine if we can pass the test! Aliens could judge us...We need ask ourselves, are we above it?....
    Thank you for this masterpiece! and Bravo!


  • Ladybug
    October 5

    Edit | Reply
    hhhhhmmmm, gosh, I hope we are never that to report.
    We see it on the news, we hear about it I know. But if I ever have to witness it
    I will littery have to puke. I guess I am to innocent and sweet to ever believe
    it truly is that bad out there. I seem to hope there is someone helping those in
    need. But I know there still are the homeless that need shoes and meals.

    You are a great writer Eddy, at all subject matters. I love the flow in this one.
    It tears my heart out to know an alien to visit us with fortune and gifts and
    think we are not worthy.

    *hugs* anyway
    Tamara


  • Night Hope gold member
    October 4

    Edit | Reply



  • sleepinglion
    October 4

    Edit | Reply
    This is a really lovely poem, exposing our failings to a benovelent alien observer

    just one comment in the penultimate verse (last two lines)
    I would suggest -
    ''returning back to Venus,
    to report of things our way''.

    flows better
    Regards David

  • Stormraven
    October 4

    Edit | Reply

    :)

    You never know but if it were me , i'd just leave the how to have a nice planet instruction book with some ol hippy and hope for the best . Storm

1 - 6 of 6