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The Self-Pitied Self

The pitied self, with silent screams,

In muted sleep midst missing dreams

Awakes refreshed and thinks it’s strong,

But twisted thoughts say that’s so wrong.

When logic speaks with sounds not heard,

A savage side awakes and stirs.

The thin walls virtue builds are torn,

And selfishness once more is born.

That selfish side not often seen,

A razor knife that slips between

What’s really wrong and what should be

And rips it raw for all to see.

Stupidity had made my choice,

Transformed to words in troubled voice.

Then consequences crushed my heart,

And pierced my soul like poisoned dart.

When reason comes from him who knows

That patience wins and surely shows

Forgiveness lets things be ignored,

And what has been is now restored.

Author notes

Sometimes looking at yourself is very difficult, even if what you see is only temporary.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12
  • amysticwriter silver member
    November 1
    Edit | Reply
    Exceptional write in my opinion...love it...

  • Gert
    October 18
    Edit | Reply

    love it

    I'm no poet but i love this


  • lilangelsnemesis gold member
    October 8

    Edit | Reply

    A wonderful piece of poetry here definitely worthy of the titled Exceptional poetry. Your rhythm was impeccabl. The iambic meter made for an exceptional piece that easy to read.

     

    Thank-you for entering the contest. This is an anonymous contest so please do not respond to this comment until the judging is complete so as to remain anonymous.


  • Darianna
    October 5
    Edit | Reply
    Gosh I love you both! xxxxxxxx


  • Peteskid gold member
    October 4

    Edit | Reply
    I think the wise among us say I understand, the wiser say- been there done that too... ...PK


  • Veronica Leigh
    October 4

    Edit | Reply
    This is amazingly beautiful. Kinda sad, but really well written. I'm glad everything is good now though


  • lesbian-in-love
    October 4

    Edit | Reply
    This was really good and well written. I enjoyed reading it. I really liked these lines:

    That selfish side not often seen,

    A razor knife that slips between

    What’s really wrong and what should be

    And rips it raw for all to see.

    Good luck in the contest and keep up the good work!


  • JeannieD Hunter gold member
    October 4

    Edit | Reply
    An exceptional man that writes exceptional poetry. It is very hard for most of us to look at ourselves, and I don't usually like what I see You are wonderful and lack nothing. Your kindness, brilliance, and huge heart is who you are. Wonderful writing as usual Dad. Good luck in the contest.

    Jeannie


  • myrataal silver member
    October 4

    Edit | Reply

    Ah. Exceptional Poetry?

    Indeed!

    Loved your poem. I cannot remember ever reading you, only complaining when I cannot log in!

    But: this is simply sharp and true for all of us. Very well verbalized.

    Greetings from South Africa
    Myra


  • Elfin
    October 4

    Edit | Reply
    This is one of my favourites in this contest. Well done and good luck. Val


  • Ishtar
    October 4

    Edit | Reply
    It was stupid. . 'cause when I make a promise I usually keep it!
    But... I do it too when I get impatient, and I know Kace told you I do it ALL the time He told me.

    All in all, you're still my favourite no matter what! I didn't mean to reply in the manner I did, bad timing, I suppose. We're both sorry and that's good. teehee. <3

    -GD Reens!

1 - 12 of 12