"No matter what you bring to the table, I'll swallow it because I love you"
No matter what, I'll swallow it
Though joylessly I daren't admit
I'll feign the pleasure on my face
And eat your cake with charm and grace!
I'm chewing wild upon this bit
No matter what, I'll swallow it!
But just the thought of what's contained
Within...I wish I had abstained!
The icing thick on top of it,
layering my tongue- a coat of paint
No matter what, I'll swallow it!
giving my face a slight green taint...
It's grainy texture I must chew,
and once I'm done, I sure will get;
to tell you truly, I must spew!
No matter what, I'll swallow it!
Author notes
Prompt: "No matter what you bring to the table, I'll swallow it because I love you"
Form used: Quatern http://www.shadowpoetry.com/resources/wip/quatern.html
Example of a Quatern: http://allpoetry.com/poem/716511
Quatern
A Quatern is a sixteen line French form composed of four quatrains. It is similar to the Kyrielle
and the Retourne. It has a refrain that is in a different place in each quatrain. The first line of
stanza one is the second line of stanza two, third line of stanza three, and fourth line of stanza
four. A quatern has eight syllables per line. It does not have to be iambic or follow a set rhyme
scheme.
Original Lines:
"No matter what, I'll swallow it
Though joylessly I daren't admit
I'll feign the pleasure on my face
And eat your cake with charm and grace!
I'm chewing wild upon this bit
No matter what, I'll swallow it!
But just the thought of what's contained
Within...I wish I had abstained!"
In a list
A contest entry
- Does anyone out there want to collab with me #5 (Prompted) by Griswold.
900 points, ended October 9, 10 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you really think?
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Oh no! Don't "spew"
This is really a great poem and I see by the gold trophy the judge thought so too. I love Quaterns and you are a master of them.
Love,
Amera -
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Thanks Amera! I wish I could say the last half of the poem was mine, however I cannot claim the praise for it, that portion belongs to Griswold. Didn't he do well???
Dari xxx
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Wonderful vocabulary and form,
and some interesting images. Good for a laugh
Well done form, good, solid rhyme and flow.
I truly enjoyed! Well done collaboration, dear friends.
Congratulations on the gold trophy.
Blessings,
lings Zach Estel.
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This turn out to be a beautiful Quatern. I have not written in this form in awhile but I picked up on it right away you and the collaborator did beautifully with the form.
lilangel'snemesis -
Very well done. Good imagery and wording on both parts. God bless.
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I am totaly laughing my butt off here! This is so cute! Beautiful job on the form you two, just great! Love the poem!
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Ok, I have finished the Quatern, come take a look and let me know what you think. Scott
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ROFLOL! Funny stuff! You've done really well Sir Griswold! I'm impressed! I think we should collab more often!
I wish I could give you clappies! Tsk...
Dari xxx
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Hey Mo, this is a great Mo-esque start. Can't wait to see the end so I'll applaud here in advance, then comment again when it's' finished. And, I love forms, as you well know.
Love you,
Dad
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Can't wait to see it finished! Great start!
Love,
Amera♥
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Awww thanks Amera! xxx
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Well now, this is refreshing to see, an actual honest to God form poem!!! And one I have not done that I recall, but will be easy enough to master. Thank you for this, you have an excellent start, I will return to add some to it later... Scott
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It's a bit of a different route to the one that everyone else has taken...a bit literal...but I'm intrigued to see what you do with it next! Yes! A form poem! I LOVE form poetry!
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As do I, I just wish more contest holders liked it as much.
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I know what you mean!
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Ok Mr Griswold Sir, Do your worst...or your best...or whatever...
Dari xxx
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