Wit invades the attachments, Of those who I hold so dear
Conquering these strings of a harp, Playing fickle melodies aloud
But I am the only one who hears this capricious sound
Dashes of sorrow, dear sprinkles of hope, oh how they frost the edges of my soul
Whose whim is of that no one aside from my inner self beholds, the answer
In which nothing is known, for radical revisions have glazed my mind’s prone
Longing provides the outlook I see no more, as my eyes flutter
Like the beating of ones own home. Gazing in the blackness
Of my very own center, I see within myself, a capricious puzzle
Suspending in the tears of roses, protected by the root’s branches
Guarded by the stones of the sea, polished with the flesh of the sun
It lies, it cheats, its fights, and endures while it cries
Yet there it lays, untouched yet tainted due to the reassembling of pieces
Over and over, again and forever, the edges are weak, soft as a feather
What goes where, I could know, only if my soul amused itself in some other way
For I have become capricious.
- A Critical Circle group list • next in list
What did you think?
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Outstanding
I liked your choice of language and the way you developed the theme of this poem that touches on the agonies of sorrow and the ray of light we call hope. I liked the way you explored your emotions as if I was learning about you as a person - seeing all the different layers. Thank you for posting.
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Room without doors! =] nice to hear from you! Thank you =]
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I didn’t think I was going to understand this but I do. There is a school of thought that says we should be constant, never changing. I see that. But if we don’t change from our imperfect beginnings, how do we grow? Soft is not always weak.
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Its been a long time lindaburns=] Thank you for your comment=]
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Gazing in the blackness
Of my very own center, I see within myself, a capricious puzzle
Shoulf OF be capitalised?
In which nothing is known, for radical revisions have glazed my mind’s prone
Possibly reverse last to words to read prone mind??
This next section was delicious
Suspending in the tears of roses, protected by the root’s branches
Guarded by the stones of the sea, polished with the flesh of the sun
It lies, it cheats, its fights, and endures while it cries
Yet there it lays, untouched yet tainted due to the reassembling of pieces
Over and over, again and forever, the edges are weak, soft as a feather
What goes where, I could know, only if my soul amused itself in some other way
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Thank you very much=]
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Delightful.
Warmest wishes,
~M
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Thank you!
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This is a really powerful poem, with a lot of depth to it. I thought the rhythm to it was impressive, and I really liked some of the subtle uses of rhyme in there. Excellent stuff
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Thank you very much!!!
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Wowie. This is very powerful! I am sad that you did not get to finish it in time to have it in my contest!
Awesome stuff, dear! Best wishes with this great write.
Fave part = The last 7 lines. Gah!
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Thank you so much! =]
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