I am told day to day that I am losing weight,
You may see that as a good thing... I am not so sure.
My family, are always talking about the way they look...
It's natural to have a complex, when all you hear is "weight"
I've always had a roll or two, that made me somewhat uneasy,
So I try to eat as little as I can to make them go away.
In my family, size is very important...
If I gain a little weight, they tell me to my face,
If I start to lose some weight, they think I may be ill...
I can not keep on living in a world
Where I am constantly judged on how I look.
I am told that food is essential,
But there are days when I just don’t want to eat.
It’s just who I am… always using the excuse I’m sick,
Not wanting to risk the food… “just in case…”
It’s not really a choice I have,
It’s one of those things embedded
From years spent with overeaters…such a state should never be ignored.
The simple line: “I’ve already eaten”,
Will hold off their accusations, for one more day.
They never need to learn the truth.
In this world of opinions, I have to appear normal,
Not only for my friends and family, but to keep my job as well.
There are times at work when snide comments are made,
Which just fuel me more, so I starve myself another day.
When things are said, it’s easy to just turn off food,
It’s been my vice so long I don’t know how else to cope.
Each time I look at food, I am repulsed,
I know that I should eat… but I just don’t want to.
I starve so I’m not fat…
I starve so I’m not judged,
I starve myself for acceptance.
Author notes
My vice is not eating...
A contest entry
- [Ad]Vice by Walking Oxymoron.
700 points, ended October 15, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Tell me what you think...
Comments
-
You may be one of the first females that has ever said you're not sure that losing weight is a good thing! (Although, does it actually say you are a female....??)
A suggestion, you use 'weight'twice in the first stanza, one of those needs to be replaced with something else, I think...maybe.
I like how you say you have a roll or two, and this can mean extra baggage, or bread rolls. Clever usage.
It's bad when family put so much stoke on what you look like, like you can't just be loved for being 'you'.
Food is essential. Without it you die. And everyone has those times where they're 'just not hungry', but at the same time, too many of those times can be dangerous. I've seen it many times...
I've already eaten.
It's used so much these days.
Snide comments at work? That's just harsh.... I'd start on a rant about workplace bullying, but I'm sure you've probably heard it all before... Don;t let them dictate your appetite though. They're probably jealous in all honesty. I see from your age that you're 21. People see youth as an advantage they wish they had.
I'm going to guess the people complining are all a little older...? Just a guess, of course.
I liked the ending,. It's strong. But you say you starve for acceptence...I believe the acceptence you crave is actually your own.
I hope you feel less confsued soon...you sound like you;re in a painful place. It's a place I know, so if you do need to speak with someone who doesn't mince her words, yet still understands, feel free to message me anytime. I may be able to help.
-
Very good...very dee
Adding your comment:
