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I Feel Like The Leaf That Just Crumbled

Missing image
In the chilly air I soar above you
The wind ripping through my veins
I shutter for I know autumn is imminent.

I pray I don't fall on the path below
To only be blown to the river aside
Floating to another beautiful realm.

I see clouds as the sun begins to fall
I'm afraid of what the future holds
Even though I will return next year.

I feel the branches start to shutter
My orangish-yellow body feels the change
Tears slide down and fall as I watch.

The night approaches, the tree sneezes
I scream but no one hears as I am flung
Gliding, I pass the river and onto the path.

I'm brittle and frightened, awaiting the end
He approaches and I pray for rebirth
Then I crumble beneath the weight of his shoe.

© October 3, 2009

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http://grrlefx.deviantart.com/art/all-in-vein-41161020

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • Not-The-Sun silver member
    October 11

    Edit | Reply
    excellent POV and form. at first I tried to take this as a metaphor, but I enjoyed it as just a nature poem instead from the perspective of a leaf in autumn.
    "I shutter for I know autumn is imminent."
    &&
    "I'm afraid of what the future holds"
    are terrific lines. I love the ending, too. absolutely breath takingly wonderful. I love autumn, too. so I might be a bit biased to judge this


  • AsIThink gold member
    October 4

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, I really like this piece. It's been quite a while since I've read from you. The title gave me a different idea of what this poem was about. but reading it, I forgot about the title and delved into the read; enjoying it from beginning-to-ending.


    AsIThink...

    • Mistress Leala silver member
      October 8
      Edit | Reply
      yea the title kind of didnt mesh as well as I thought, but so glad you enjoyed it. I hope you are doing well. haven't heard from you in ages. thanks for reading and leaving your wonderful words.


  • Rend the Veil gold member
    October 3

    Edit | Reply
    this so beautiful
    loved the imagery
    missed you so much,

    Love you !!

    Rend


  • Jeremy0826 silver member
    October 3

    Edit | Reply
    I really love the way that you wrote this and your thoughts here.
    You draw a beautiful picture for the mind. Great personification
    as well throughout this.

    "The night approaches, the tree sneezes
    I scream but no one hears as I am flung
    Gliding, I pass the river and onto the path."

    I love that stanza! Well done and all the best to you in this contest!
    Thanks a lot for sharing it here!




    Jeremy0826


  • DinkyDiver gold member
    October 3

    Edit | Reply
    I like the tight squeeze of syllables here... makes it look very neat!!! easy to read and uugghhh man I hate Autumn ...

    I think yes... it's the most beautiful season.... BUT it's the most depressing season... all that time to wait to dive again... to not break down again... meh

    I love you imagery in this piece!! hehehe a tree sneezing!!! awesome!!!



    The life of a leaf... or the life of how you feel in autumn?? could be read either way my friend... very good write xx

    DD


1 - 10 of 10