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Dear Hank, My 'Muse'

 

 

 

 

I hate to break this to you Hank, but muses do not exist. The name 'muse' is just a personified sobriquet for one's inspiration -- just a sad moniker created by overly-romantic poets unable to see the beauty in realism.

I'm sorry you don't exist Hank. And I'm sorry to burst everyone's bubble.

 

Good news! Your muse isn't dead -- it just never existed! 

 

Yes, I am sorry everyone -- okay, I'm not sorry.



Realistically yours,

Yemassee

Author notes

I'll be waiting for the gold, lol

In a list

A contest entry

A Shocking Tale Of Horror!

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 62 of 62

  • JinSays gold member
    November 11
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    Edit | Reply


    Yem.

    you're a mess.
    love,
    jin


    • Yemassee gold member
      November 11
      ?
      Edit | Reply
      I'm a mess? I'm honest so that makes me a mess? lol Poor me.

      Hey, I entered a rare contest and won, I'm happy.

      Yeah, I'm a mess.


      • JinSays gold member
        November 11
        ?
        Edit | Reply
        ohyeah..and congratulations.

      • JinSays gold member
        November 11
        ?
        Edit | Reply
        yeah, a fabulous mess
        and I forgot the:

        YOU ENTERED A CONTEST??? AND IT WASNT ONE OF MINE????

        Im so hurt
        (insert major guilt trip here)...

        • Yemassee gold member
          November 11
          ?
          Edit | Reply
          Well I tend to enter one if the host lets me be insolent in some fashion or other.

          Your contests always seem too high brow for me. I need something where I can whine.

          • JinSays gold member
            November 11
            ?
            Edit | Reply
            high brow?
            hahahahahahahahaha....are you SERIOUS?
            omg, that's the funniest thing I've ever heard---today

            highbrow..yep that's me, as I sit here and type in my bright pink nightgown with little owls on it that says, "I love the nightlife"...
            my champagne taste on a beer budget, my slummy friends

            good try, but it wont work darling. Whine away. Go for it. I love your whining. I would host a contest JUST to LISTEN TO IT

            so there

            • Yemassee gold member
              November 11
              ?
              Edit | Reply
              I didn't say you were snobby, just that your contests required a "taste" that I don't think I possess. I will try to enter one with an alter ego of mine. I have a few, lol Yem is retired. He just reads for now.

              • JinSays gold member
                November 11
                ?
                Edit | Reply
                its okay, I wasnt pressing you to enter, just messing with you. I dont see your pieces in contests very often, and never in mine. taste? with idols like Parker, Millay, Ogden Nash, James Joyce, George Bernard Shaw...taste could be interpreted in many different ways.
                Most people today would read Nash's work and think he was a raving lunatic.

                Same with Shaw. I mean, who else would have titled a play "How to Beat Children"..?
                I prefer Marlowe over Shakespeare--most of my poetic friends think Im nuts. "Shakespeare was a genius" they say.

                To quote Shaw, "With the exception of Homer, there is no eminent writer, not even Sir Walter Scott, whom I can despise so entirely as I despise Shakespeare when I measure my mind against his...It would positively be a relief to me to dig him up and throw stones at him."

                I apologize if my contests have seemed un-enter-able. No worries though. I would hope to actually gain your pen with a prompt, rather than expect anything.
                What genius can write under that kind of pressure? Well besides Sheridan? (whose wit I absolutely adore...?)..okay Im rambling. enough
                nice to visit your pages, have a groovy day.


  • ShaShay
    November 5

    Edit | Reply
    You have upset my muse to no end. She won't talk at all and I cannot write without her. So all those trophies I might be winning will now go to someone else. I'm stymied now and it's all your fault. Beware of paybacks...you know what they say. (and your little pretty too AAAA-hhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa)
    Sharon

  • kenpi3
    October 10

    Edit | Reply

    head above the rangers horse

    Is Hank an acronym for H urt A lthough N ot K illed ? He sure looks beaten up. It was lots of fun to read.


  • Naridill gold member
    October 8
    Edit | Reply
    Heart it!


  • bigperm gold member
    October 5
    Edit | Reply

    I think we use Muse

    to credit someone with our genius writings when we don't want to sound conceited.lol Anyways, this will surely win gold.


  • pixiestix gold member
    October 4

    Edit | Reply
    Did you perhaps bludgeon Hank with empty Moxie bottles?

    I think this is all some grandiose scheme so you can still collect the life insurance money. Don't worry...I won't turn you in to the authorities.


  • Snowbear gold member
    October 4
    Edit | Reply
    Sorry, I couldn't resist, lol


  • UncleDunk gold member
    October 3
    Edit | Reply
    It'll be ok, Yamassee -

    The first stage of writer's block is 'Denial'

    HA!


    • Yemassee gold member
      October 3
      Edit | Reply
      LOL, good one! But he's dead I tell you, see him lying there!

      • UncleDunk gold member
        October 3

        Edit | Reply
        "Denial" - A refusal to believe or accept. That's not a real Muse in the picture - that's a Sim-Muse. I know, I know, pixels can look so real.

        If this makes you mad, that's ok. The next step is "anger." We'll work through this...


        • UncleDunk gold member
          October 3
          Edit | Reply
          Is that picture of your muse from one of the Johnny The Homicidal Maniac books? It looks familiar.


        • Yemassee gold member
          October 3
          Edit | Reply
          Let me know when it's the Moxie drinking stage.

          • UncleDunk gold member
            October 3
            Edit | Reply
            Wow! You jumped right to the fifth stage - Acceptance! Perhaps a resigned acceptance, but acceptance none-the-less. IT'S MOXIE DRINKING TIME!!!


  • Mari Goes gold member
    October 3

    Edit | Reply
    LOL yes, I agree with you, muse is a mere excuse we have so we can write lots of crap and blame the non-existent muse. The graphic is funny, is that Hank? Quite a cute thing for something that doesn't exist
    If you don't win the gold, you know what you have to do with the host....call Dave

    • Yemassee gold member
      October 3
      Edit | Reply
      so we can write lots of crap and blame the non-existent muse.

      Remember the poem I wrote the other day? The horrible adultish one? Hank wrote that!

      Oh yes, Pyscho Dave will have his first taste of Mango if I lose!


      • Mango Memories gold member
        October 3
        Edit | Reply
        Wha?!!!!!

        but..but...!!!

        NOOOO not pyscho Dave... anyone but that!!!

        Im too juicy...


  • awannabepoet
    October 3

    Edit | Reply


    Well we always need a party pooper!

    LOL

    Great write my friend.



    • Yemassee gold member
      October 3
      Edit | Reply
      Yay, I'm the party pooper, I'm important, I have a special name! That reminds me of a Schwarzenegger film where he goes to some teen party to find some bad guy:
      "Who are you?"
      "I'm the party pooper!"

      Yeah, simple things intrigue me. That's why I need to win gold in this contest. Shiny object keep me occupied.

      Thanks for visiting!


  • ariazephyrzoe gold member
    October 3

    Edit | Reply
    yes it is brilliant
    loved it and the dog pic


    • Yemassee gold member
      October 3
      Edit | Reply
      Is that a dog? I guess it is. Don't show this one to your daughter, she might cry.

      Thanks


  • styrofoam
    October 3

    Edit | Reply
    dear hank
    you may not exist but your writing is brilliant.


  • Over Zenith
    October 3

    Edit | Reply
    I was waiting for someone to come out with this. It is true, but there never was any harm in having imaginary friends. Oh wait... sometimes there's great harm in it... The point is that this is an excellent piece, and I wish the best of luck in the contest.

    • Yemassee gold member
      October 3
      Edit | Reply
      but there never was any harm in having imaginary friends. Oh wait... sometimes there's great harm in it...

      Good one!

      See, kill off our muses, they are dangerous!

      Thanks for reading.


  • lilangelsnemesis gold member
    October 3

    Edit | Reply

    On No....

    You killed your muse. Whatever will you do? lol! I liked this even though I believe that I have a muse that does the writing for me. But then again I suffer from Multiple Personality Disorder so why wouldn't I believe. lol! Again I really liked your take on this contest.

    lilangel'snemesis


  • DinkyDiver gold member
    October 3

    Edit | Reply
    hehehe Loving this!|!|


    • Yemassee gold member
      October 3
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks. Come see the gold when I win it, lol But no touching!


  • poet2angels gold member
    October 3
    Edit | Reply
    lmao
    Good one...
    Dust off a shelf

    Lynda


    • Yemassee gold member
      October 3
      Edit | Reply
      It might actually win gold AND silver!


      • poet2angels gold member
        October 3

        Edit | Reply
        It may well, so you better save plenty of room
        Heck, you could take bronze and all 5 HM's !


        • Yemassee gold member
          October 3
          Edit | Reply
          Stop that! I'm getting giddy just thinking about that possibility!

          Thanks for reading my silliness btw.


          • poet2angels gold member
            October 3
            Edit | Reply
            lmao yw
            It was my pleasure.
            I shall remember to check back and see the outcome


  • Melodies
    October 3

    Edit | Reply

    Ah, now I know why...

    I never had a muse and I already knew it. Someone once told me that I must have a very good muse and I had no idea what they were talking about but I just smiled and said, "thank you." lol I hoped it wasn't a disease. Your penning leaves me with a big smile, Yem. I am now leaving for a cross-country trip, so goodbye and farewell and that German word I don't know how to spell.


  • ten thousand cicadas gold member
    October 3

    Edit | Reply
    OUCH!!!!!!!! You should have your mouth washed out with soap!!!!

    And then use the trophy for a soap holder.

    So funny, Yem.

    • Yemassee gold member
      October 3
      Edit | Reply
      See, I was right. I should keep my trophy in the bathroom!

      I know someone will tell me where I can then shove it!


  • Mango Memories gold member
    October 3
    Edit | Reply
    HAHAHAHHAHAHH!!!!

    You suck. Thanks for killing everyones dream. Poo


    • Yemassee gold member
      October 3
      Edit | Reply
      lol, my pleasure. I think I'll put the gold trophy somewhere everyone can see it.

      • Mango Memories gold member
        October 3

        Edit | Reply
        You never know yem... could only get a HM...


        Who am I kidding? This is GOLD. lol and you know it. Meh, being a narcissist is better then being timid I say


        • Yemassee gold member
          October 3
          Edit | Reply
          I rarely win trophies but I have fun entertaining myself.

          • Mango Memories gold member
            October 3
            Edit | Reply
            Thats because you rarely enter competitons.

            You certainly have the abilty.

            Ive seen reatrds with 254 gold trophies with not a drop of the quality of your inks pen.


            • awannabepoet
              October 3
              Edit | Reply
              Amen to that Sara, excellent bit of truth there, at least I admit to admit and dont have 100's of trophies.


  • Aesthete2000 gold member
    October 3
    Edit | Reply
    Ah, poor beat up Hank,
    maimed and broken
    with poet's excuses,
    taking the brunt of blame
    for those seeking elusive fame!

    Of course, you are not sorry,
    for you speak truth!!!

    M-C


    • Yemassee gold member
      October 3
      Edit | Reply
      Where do you think I should put the gold trophy? In my den?


      • Aesthete2000 gold member
        October 3

        Edit | Reply
        Well, not near the wood stove
        for it might combust---for it's
        fool's gold, right????


        • Yemassee gold member
          October 3
          Edit | Reply
          lol, good one.

          Maybe in the bathroom. That sounds about right.


          • Aesthete2000 gold member
            October 3
            Edit | Reply
            Aha, toothbrush holder, right?


            • Yemassee gold member
              October 3
              Edit | Reply
              I was thinking it would make a nice air freshener. The beautiful aroma of gold!


              • Aesthete2000 gold member
                October 3
                Edit | Reply
                Awe, then you're going to have to get another
                whole set to have complete aromatherapy!


                • Yemassee gold member
                  October 3
                  Edit | Reply
                  Ima is working on it but hosts only give him green trophies which seems appropriate I guess, lol

1 - 62 of 62