Good job we are in for the night. Hark listen to that gale
Have you just put the kettle on? Did you hear someone wail?
Once we've eaten something hot we'll sit down by the fire
Shall I put one or two logs on? The weather's cold and dire
This tea is good so I've been told. Where have you gone? Your tea's stone cold!
Author notes
Are you sure the person you're with is always going to be there?
A contest entry
- Allpoetry's Halloween Bash 2009 - Win a Gold Membership by Little Eagle.
9000 points, ended October 31, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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Thank you for your entry
Nice job on the acrostic. The rhyme seems a little forced. Reads as a conversation but only one sided. Please see my rubric below for further details.
I encourage you to keep writing to read and comment.
God Bless
TammyCriteria
20-18
Exceptional
17-14
Innovative
13-10
Commendable
9-6
Competent
5-1
Emerging
Score
Prompt Development
Expresses and develops meaningful and original perspective on prompt
Expressive and developed treatment of the prompt
Adequate focus and development
Some focus on prompt but lacks development
Unfocused and unclear
13
Organization
Form of poem appropriately and powerfully addresses the subject , each line focuses on prompt
Form of poem is appropriate to the subject, focus maintained throughout
Form of poem is appropriate to the subject focus maintained throughout
Form of poem is appropriate to the subject, focus maintained throughout
Form is poorly constructed, focus is not maintained throughout
13
Poetic Language & Imagery
Sensory details and figurative language create vivid images that contribute significantly to the meaning of the poem; sound devices such as rhyme, alliteration, or onomatopoeia are used effectively to contribute to the meaning of the poem
Sensory details, figurative languages and sound devices contribute to the meaning of the poem
Sensory details, figurative language and sound devices may be overused, underused or inappropriate to the topic
Confusing or inappropriate use of sensory details, figurative language or sound devices
No use of sensory details, figurative language or sound devices
13
Use of Language
Word choice is vivid and exact throughout; grammar, mechanics and usage are correct, enhancing the thoughts and images
Precise word choice; no error in grammar, spelling and mechanics
Word choice occasionally vague, repetitive or imprecise; few errors in grammar, mechanics or usage
Word choices tend to be vague, repetitive or imprecise;
Consistently difficult to understand due to errors in grammar, mechanics and usage
13
Overall Impact
Poem captivates and inspires reader; is an excellent representation of the prompt/form
Poem attracts reader’s attention; is a good representation of the prompt/form
Poem is adequate and provides a reasonable representation of the prompt/form
Poem lacks inspiration
Poem fails to inspire
12
Total
64/100
Averaged scores
Three judges averaged score.
63/100
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Thank You for Your Entry ~
Interesting write; you've done the acrostic well though the rhyming seems a little forced it is good in the imagery - I like the second half of the first stanza
Prompt Development = 13/20
Organization = 13/20
Poetic Language & Imagery = 14/20
Use of Language = 14/20
Overall Impact = 14/20
Total = 68/100
Best of Luck
Stay safe
Manda
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Thank you for your entry
You have developed the acrostic really well. Quite conversational of tone, good word choice.
However, you need to include the option into your author's notes.
Prompt Development = 12/20
Organization = 11/20
Poetic Language & Imagery = 13/20
Use of Language = 10/20
Overall Impact = 10/20
Total = 56/100
Best of luck to you in the contest.
Shari
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welcome to allpoetry
good take on the acrostic, you never know sometimes in this world, well done with this and thanks for sharing this with us here, good luck to you in this contest!
cheers
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