I should like to exist for you,
to be in your eyes
the I that I am.
To know that the person
I see as me
Is the person you see as me.
But I don't know if that is so.
I don't know
If the outline of me has inner substance
which you perceive, no sense,
with the substance that is you.
When I have gone from your ambience
that unknowing does not detract
from the person I know as me.
The unknowing simply erases
my mark upon the air.
What I know of myself
I take with me
no matter where or when
I come and go.
My presence passes without and within
the air that others breathe.
When at last you breathe me in,
will you know, I wonder,
whose breath you have breathed?
Will you unknowing breathe me out again
Or will my essence leave
a trace that nothing can efface
until you pass from this life to the next?
Author notes
The link, of course, is T S Eliot.
A contest entry
- #192 for Winklings and AP Friends by Lyndon.
2500 points, ended November 4, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
-
BEAUTIFUL!!!!!
Ah, the very essence of one , can it be felt by those who they come into contact with? In todays society I don't believe that is the case, I believe we have forgotten how to feel anothers so called vibes. I was lucky though as I had parents who taught me how to listen with my heart, not my ears.
-
from the first word to the last
and even the title,
you drew me through this poem,
and amazed me.
Thank you for sharing,
and very well done.
Andantean Zach
-
Somewhere between Hamlet and a Psychiatrist!
Rhythm well studied. I note that the "I" of your poem is given no setting. T S Eliot at least did that for J Alfred! Words well chosen and wisely used. Good fortune in th contest.
Danni
Adding your comment:
