Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

just give me one reason to leave




We wear these gold bands
though they fail to symbolize all they should
not lovingly given or received

existing in this world
of dirty nappies and child-like chatter
because she is the reason
we are

I saw the way she looked at you

across the dinner table

as I fed our daughter

auburn hair
cascading down her back
and legs that reached the tenth of never
yet your eyes drifted back
to me, to us
and I sighed knowing neither
would ever be truly happy
this way

I wanted you to give us a reason
to cease this charade
for me to believe once more
that happy endings could be
more than this
to pick her instead of me
and grant me freedom
but you don’t and I’m not…. free

Both of us ignoring the red lipstick
over and over again
in fear that we may never be enough
for someone other than each other
and this little family of lies


Author notes

Prompt ~ i know you're true to me, but why is there lipstick on your zipper?

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • Manda Kathryn Greeters member
    October 8
    Edit | Reply

    Thank You for Your Entry ~

    powerfully scripted; it is sad how real this is for so many people in the world


    best of luck!


  • pixiestix gold member
    October 8

    Edit | Reply
    Incredible write here that so many I think can relate to. Staying together for the sake of a child is used as an excuse so many times when he/she/them is seemingly the only bond left.

    I like how you used the "red lipstick" to symbolize the elephant at the dinner table.

    Very well written piece.


  • AutumnAshe
    October 7

    Edit | Reply
    Such a ugly truth so beautifully and painfully honestly described. Thank you.


  • Afe-la
    October 7

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. I'm glad i checked your poems out. You're a great writer mate. This one leaves me seeing a family at the dinner table. The parents holding back on what they wish to say. I'm probably way off, but i see much in this. Too much to bother explaining. It was a pleasure to read. Thankyou.


  • Yah-rod
    October 6

    Edit | Reply
    The phrase "gold bands" made me imagine rings

    The next stanza seemed to be ambivalent (like the piece), but then, children can be like that. It is sweet in that it suggests that the child is the centre for gravity of everything in the lives of you, and the other.

    The third stanza creates a scene, and the line that stood out in more ways than one was the one that ended at "tenth of never". It made me sad, because it suggested that the future seemed so distant. You mentioned the time to come, as though to emphasise its fogginess ("...knowing neither would ever...")

    It becomes reflective, and I think at this point it becomes appealing to the fear of anyone, in any station. I loved how you ended the stanza "...and I'm not...free". The flow is crisp, with alliteration.

    You brought it to the prompt very well, and I think you could be rewarded for relying on it minimally, and in fact expanding an idea.

    "and this little family of lies" brings the truth home.

    Wonderful.


  • Mango Memories gold member
    October 4

    Edit | Reply
    Why I dont want to get married and why I dont belive in love.


  • perfectsunset gold member
    October 3

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, what a raw, powerful piece
    yet so beautifully scribed to show
    the true meaning of lies. I could
    feel every piece of imagery unfold
    a past.. a time where it might not
    have been okay to cry and let feelings
    free... hidden inside as a dirty habit.

    You amaze me every single time,
    and I am very impressed as always.

    You just keep that pen flowing,
    and i'll gladly read

    Love your sista gata~

    xx


  • Pure Thought silver member
    October 3

    Edit | Reply
    You just painted 50% of the relationships in the world. All to well done. A heart breaker.
    Buddy


  • AliceinPoetryLand gold member
    October 3

    Edit | Reply
    Wow this poem certainly kicks butt So heartbreaking and relateable. Excellent writing indeed. My best wishes in this contest


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    October 3

    Edit | Reply
    Wow.. this is stark in it's message.. how two people can be tied to each other, neither wanting to be, but neither having the courage to end it out of fear. Awesome write for the prompt!!!

1 - 10 of 10