Poor daughter... (You left me father)
rich thoughts. (but I'm trying to keep it positive)
Dysfunctional mentality..
scarred by rejection.(you never looked back)
Unsure of success..
fear of whats next.
Willing to bE
lEss than her best.
looking for commonalities,
only wishing to fit in with the rest.
After the pain,
struggling to see what has been left.
(how you walked away, Ill never understand)
trying to trust God,
But rapidly losing faith.
unfilled promises,
from every path in this life.
I'm alone,
in my top notch status..
Untouchable,
unbeknownst to me.
Percieved to be,
more than my true life reALity..
expected to be,
every beautiful mans fantasy.
Let it all rain on me,
these untruths and insanity.
All my days of misery..
You could have taken that from me.
A contest entry
- I want to see your best poems!!! by saseychik0688.
900 points, ended November 27, 25 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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This is a good poem, different from my style but I like it...good luck in my contest.
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This is just an amazing piece.
It speaks of great pain, but at the same time great knowledge.
You've written this in a lovely way, and it flows very nicely.
I especially like the last two lines. Flow was great there.
Beautiful write!
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the first two stanzas set the poem up nicely with their two sections to each line. it characterised the poem and gave it life from the beginning.
your stanza breakup was constant and gave it a nice shape and flow.
my favourite lines are the last two stanzas, and whether or not it was intentional, the rhyming last lines of both closed the poem really well.
i enjoyed reading this immensely, keep up the good work.
chin up,
swim.x -
the first two stanzas were interesting and set the scene well with their two parts to each line. your stanza breakup was constant and gave the poem a nice shape.
the last two stanzas have got to be my favourite, i don't know whether or not it was intentional but the last lines of each rhymed, and that closed the poem really nicely.
your vocabulary is impressive. i immensely enjoyed reading this.
chin up,
swim.x
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This has a nice, quick beat to it..Different style for you..It works well..I like it..good for you
John
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Nice, and pretty and sad. The rhyme and set up was nice.
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