Just What I Wanted...

At first it was great. 1 month 2, 3 months 4. All was going well. I let myself get close, to close. That soon changed to no way out. The first time ever, soon changed to doubts. Blinded to the fact, that something was slowly changing, you. We started to fight, over seeminglt nothing. We both lost sight of how wrong 'us' had gone, but we kept holding on.
Yells turned into screams, and screams turned into bruises. Deep down knowing that you weren't the same, it was obvious that something had changed. Even sex became a pointless battle, whenever you wanted. I became your whore. Never daring to say no, always trying to lay low. Not to make a scence, just go with the flow. I couldn't change it, you layed down the law. You were now the hunter, and I was your game. You were a completely different person to the man i once knew, you just weren't the same.
Some days I left, running out the door, clearing the fence. Yet I still kept coming back for more. A neighbour dared to attempt to offer soe comfort. Clean up the mess that you had made. Try to talk me into leaving. Downright stubborness, stopped her in her tracks. I couldn't see a way to turn back. Convinced that there was no way out. Covering the bruises and the bloody wounds. Trying to hide my increasingly bad moods. She attempted to help, when no-one could. Always waiting on the front porch. Waiting to say that I should leave for good. A year on, I learned that I was pregnant! Barely 15! And now not just scared for my own life, another growing inside me. I knew that meant strife. Tip toeing my way around for months on end. What felt like forever, was soon to come to an end....
I tried, but there was too much damage to mend. You wanted this, you wanted that. No, No, NO! I had, had enough! More than enough! The seams cracked, resulting in disaster. An explosion of anger, for a brief moment I was the master. I went around to tell you the news. Not to have a fight because I refused. I could tell that you were off your face. I had known it for a while. Didn't dare to say, hoped that you'd tell me at your  own pace,
A fist to the jaw, knocked me to the floor. A grab at the throat had me up against the wall. 1 hit 2, 3 hits 4. A foot to the guts, and you still went back for more.
BANG! BANG! Next thing I know I'm waking up on the floor. Next to me, the lady from next door. I just lay there, the pain unbearable. On the middle of the floor, the first tear was shed. A comforing hug, I still couldn't move. Slowly getting to my feet, with a helping hand. Went straight to the fridge, looking for a can. Finally finding my tongue,
'What have I done?'
She desperately tried to convince me that I had done nothing wrong.
'But I started it, I did something wrong, this is my punishment!'
There was no convincing me otherwise. I had made up my mind. So sore, so much pain. I had sent everything down the drain. But I still stayed?
No way out, so confused. Drowning in self doubt. Never did I expect to catch you out. Shooting up.....Heroin. With one quick snatch, I grabbed to needle. Shoved it in my arm. If you didn't have it, surely you couldn't do any harm?
A wave of nothingness, no pain...
Just what I wanted...