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Silence

once we spoke of tomorrow

                              but that was yesterday

            today we walk in silence

infinite bliss has run out of steam

loves shallow footprints corroded by the sands of time
fuelled by the winds of change

              corrupted by the solitude of arrogance

              now its just me

and still I cry

Because…………I love you

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • 2lullabyhaven
    November 2
    Edit | Reply
    Double-Wow....sometimes there are no words, just silence...Wow


  • icarus-ryan
    November 1

    Edit | Reply

    short and to the point

    beautiful and tragic, once more. beautiful opening lines, excellent use of words to contradict each other, honest emotion

    wouldn't rhyme time with time though, synonym perhaps? consider.

    still a great read tho! really not much to criticize!


    • Mark Harrap
      November 2
      Edit | Reply

      wasnt meant to have any rhyme lol

      didnt notice till after it was posted,but sorta lost interest in writing at this stage,so never changed it...pretty slack huh lol,as my mood changes so will my enthusiasm...maybe...but I do agree it needs changing


  • darlee77 gold member
    November 1

    Edit | Reply
    This is so sad and emotional. You do have a very unique style of writing. I enjoy it.


  • Aussie Gypsy gold member
    October 4

    Edit | Reply
    I love the feeling this piece left me with, such a melacholy feel to it, love is something best left in silence. Well done to you and best to you in the contest


    • Mark Harrap
      October 4
      Edit | Reply

      thanks Gypsy

      thanks for the read and comment,so glad you enjoyed it,the feedback helps me learn to express myself better,also introduces me to new talent to inspire and direct me in the right direction


  • Forgotten truth
    October 4

    Edit | Reply

    Wow this was all some, the wording of the write was great, there is nothing I could think to change, the style is prefect... and this poem really tells the story of a broken love,, the end was so sad too, because there wasn’t some sort of bitterness but the truth.. the words I still love you really make it even more sad,, if the poem doesn’t make tope 3 I will all but quit reading poetry from this site… I think it’s the best ive read so fare….

    I love the word plays like this ,, infinite bliss has run out of time

    Love it…


  • nobodys-girl
    October 3

    Edit | Reply
    oh my this is so sad and sounds so personal. it's such a bad feeling when a love has died. you did a wonderful job on this poem.


  • melodytcromer
    October 2

    Edit | Reply

    wow power

    This is very endearing and has great flow excellent word count. I love that "part fueled by the winds of change" so it tells you what happened, why it happen and the end result of it happening.It has all the elements of a great poem and I don't like love poems at all this one seems to be deeper then an ordinary love poem to be hones. It reads more or less like a lesson in life. The authoer stayed true to the form and all in all a perfect poem. Good luck in the contests....mel.


    • Mark Harrap
      October 2
      Edit | Reply

      thanks so much

      your way too kind to me Melody,I'm equally impressed by your description,very professional....great to catch up again too ;0)

1 - 10 of 10