i like to cook.

i like to cook. i really do.
and i want to leave.
i want to move away.
i want to experience. i like experiencing.
i want to start anew. not really though. because i like it here.
i have friends. you're my friend. my favorite one.
and i want us to be friends. and i want us to be close. and stay close.
but as i was saying,
i like to cook.
i like making breakfast. for me, and for other people.
i like firin' up the grill, and throwin' raw meat on that bad boy, and lettin' it sit and cook, and get good and grilled, and eating it with a salad.
because it just feels right.
we felt right.
and i like jazz. i love jazz. its perfect. regardless of the performers, jazz is the perfect genre of music, because it's raw emotion. there is no right or wrong.
sure, you might screw up and play out of key, or play a note that doesn't match. But that doesn't make you "wrong", you either just screwed up, or thats how you felt. maybe you felt like playing out of key and sounding awkward.
because life can get that way. and jazz is an interpretation of life, in the form of music.
i love jazz.
i want to play jazz.
i want to move away to a city. i want to be a short order cook. i want to hold those spatulas in my hands (my big, strong hands that know how to do anything i want them to do) and scatter some hash, or flip some eggs, or make an omelet. i really don't care what theyre cooking.
i want to smell the browning peppers and onions on that flat top grill.
and i want to leave my job and go home to a puppy, or some small indoor animal that i can love, and say good afternoon to him/her and lay/sit with him/her while i read whatever book i am currently reading.
and after that, i want to go out at night and walk under the city lights(if only i had your hand to hold while i walked), and find some guys to play music with. jazz of course. just slow, mellow, relaxing jazz. and let everything out.  i really dont have much to let out.
i'm not hurting. i'm not sad. i'm not upset. i don't know what i am.
hmmmmmm.
cooking, i like. music, i like. jazz, i like.
you, i love.