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Flesh Chose Spirit

Missing image

 

 

We met under spring's beautiful whispering breath
Honeysuckle sensation was carried inside the wind
Scent covers consiousness draped like a soul blanket
Smiling daffodil kisses while drinking dandelion wine

Why did you let go of my hand when winter came in?
Must have been an old acquaintance or blizzard friend?
Turning away and then looking back, flesh chose spirit
Crystal eyes deny glimpses for illusions love cherishes

Walking through wilderness searching life's companion
Locking my soul with your key of indigity left me pale
Remembering how to forget does not make any sense
All my tomorrows seeking lost visions nowhere existing

Author notes

(U N B R E A K A B L E S O U L)

Prompt:"Walking With A Ghost" - Tegan and Sara

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • sora.
    December 3
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    the imagery here is rich and potent, playing on the senses of sight, smell and touch. it really draws you in. captivating!


  • whitecoffee
    November 26
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    Edit | Reply
    I loved the pace to this, and the sounds of the words, great stuff


  • lesbian-in-love
    November 6

    Edit | Reply
    This was interesting to read. It was really good. I liked it. Thanks so much for entering and best of luck to you in the contest. Your going on to round 3.


  • bunnyslasher157
    October 30

    Edit | Reply

    wow..

    This is beautiful. My favorite part was "We met under spring's beautiful whispering breath" It just speaks to me. Good luck and keep writing!


  • Kathraina gold member
    October 20

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, I really like the imagery you've painted here! Superb word choice in this piece Great tale, I thoroughly enjoyed this read.



    bravo and thank you for entering


    ♥ kate

  • division gold member
    October 10

    Edit | Reply
    first, the picture met the song perfectly.

    second, the poem was sooo beautiful. I feel like I want to hang it on my wall right now, because usually free-verse written in this form isn't really good, but this is amazing.

    great job and good luck


  • morningstar1948 gold member
    October 4

    Edit | Reply

    very interesting write my child

    I like the way you wrote this one. keep it up.
    you are getting better and better. I will be off
    Ap for a couple of week. Pop puter is now acting funny.
    So going to stay off of it. I love you and keep on
    writing.
    love
    Mom


  • Tzipora
    October 3

    Edit | Reply
    Why did you let go of my hand when winter came in?
    Must have been an old acquaintance or blizzard friend?
    Turning away and then looking back, flesh chose spirit


    wow. beautiful. really liked this write.


  • HereComesTheSun
    October 3

    Edit | Reply
    the last line was a really strong one for me
    the way it just concluded this piece strongly
    and just did a stunning job at showing your talent.

    really enjoyed the piece.


  • catz Moderators member
    October 2

    Edit | Reply
    This is a wonderful poem !! I especially love the first stanza, drawing in this reader with feeling and gentleness. This could mean the end of life of a loved one or the end of a relationship which still haunts and saddens.

    An excellent piece and I think you're destined for a trophy in this contest
    It's truely a beautiful poem, poignant, eloquently written

    Dee

1 - 10 of 10