In a far, primitive part of the world
The automated computer drives whirled.
Trained chimps randomly pushed down on the keys
Caring not whether they could help or please.
The poor customer is given no choice
As "Dave" answers in an accented voice.
No arguments are ever afforded
As all responses are pre-recorded.
Alt F: Kind sir, may I put you on hold?
Alt H: Have you checked the software for mold?
Sitar music covers the primate hoots
As the employees are paid off in fruits.
Shift C: Your English I don't understand.
Control G: I come from a sunny land.
This nonsense is met by the user's curse.
Could these foreigners possibly be worse?
In a green, humid, tropical land
All proceeds according to the great plan.
Happy employees push buttons and eat
While the customer fumes in his seat.
Author notes
This is not a racist poem calling foreigners chimps. Nor is it a comment on the people who work at call centers. So, if you have the urge to go PC on me - get over yourself. Rather it is a comment on the drive for profits among computer companies and the inadequate training they provide to the staff at these centers.
Image source: http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Z8u8O5UBGHc/SSShXzFk-CI/AAAAAAAABew/HvO237O6omI/s1600-h/monkeys.jpg
In a list
A contest entry
- Technical Support .... Right!!!!!! by Riftkin.
700 points, ended October 10, 7 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Your words here speak more truth than many might think. I loved your take on this and want to wish you the best with it.
Riftkin
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Thank you very much for reading and commenting on my poem. The bronze cup is very much appreciated. I was put on permanent hold by a baboon from HP two days ago, maybe it was time for a banana break. Some things never change.
Mike
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I would lmao if it were not so true. Especially dealing with the VA Call Center, VA Hospital and other VA entities.
Your poem is funny. You are my kind of nut and nuts have to stick together or some squirwill came along and carry all the nuts of--Safety in numbers.
Take care
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Unfortunately, the sarcasm in my poem does cut a bit too close to the truth. Yesterday the phone company mistakenly cut off my service. I went to the neighbor and called in... they asked me... is there another number we can call you on at your home? That is the dumbest question I have been asked in a bit. I wouldnt be at my neighbors calling in a complaint if I had another number at home. This moron was actually out of their North Carolina office.
From one nut to another, thanks for reading and commenting.
Mike
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lmao great poem! I loved this stanza it really made me laugh
Alt F: Kind sir, may I put you on hold?
Alt H: Have you checked the software for mold?
Sitar music covers the primate hoots
As the employees are paid off in fruits
Have you checked for mold! lol I can tell that you have had a few run ins with this people and so have I! Best of luck in the contest
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My recent favorite was the ones at the FairPoint phone company. After I explained that I knew my rights, they shouted me down and hung up on me. That is great customer service. LMAO. Thanks for reading and commenting. I am glad you enjoyed it.
Mike
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Having spent many a time on a call to such a centre ... your poem made me chuckle... I will not say anymore than I agree with your ANs.
All the best in the contest.
Sue
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I have spent hours of frustration on line with these people in the past. I have been sworn at and told that I didnt speak good English. I finally informed one such nimrod that English was my native tongue. Apparently if it is not the Queen's English it does not count in the former colonies. Thank you very much for reading and commenting. I am glad you enjoyed the poem.
Mike
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Okay...
Glad I read your Author's notes before commenting. Lemme read the poem again 1 more time. {pause} Well, when I re-read it, despite obvious reference to India, this could indeed be CricketJeff's Umbleania by the Sea you're referring to. It does make your point, though without the Author's notes I don;t know if I would have understood as well. Good Work!
Write On!
jIM
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I dont know the poem by CricketJeff. I am glad you re-read it. I was careful not to mention a country directly by name, though the sitar reference was obvious. The last few calls have had that music playing in the background. I have also, had much better service lately than in the recent past. It is a hard thankless job. The CEOs in their grasp for money have created a very frustrating situation.
Mike
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Liked it!
I, uh, work at a call center and I know exactly what you are talking about. There is a real issue of a language barrier with our customers, not vice versa! I liked the poem. It is honest and funny. I do technical support for the computer systems of a major retailer, and I can attest that the training is wholly inadequate. -
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I did too. My work was at a sales call center which is even worse than a customer service call center. A few years ago I helped a woman in Argentina with her English so that she could get a job at a call center. After she go the job, she explained how it worked and that the people were not supposed to say anything that was not written in the manual. Sometimes she got in trouble for doing more than the manual said and the training was inadequate. However, in Argentina it was a good paying job.
Mike
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