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Droylsden canal with the ducks, geese and cheeky boys

at the lock gate
the dog always takes a leak
a little puddle on top of bigger puddles

dancing huge pennies
hit the ground, beckons like fairy wings
beating a path to the grassy knolls

slightly sodden;
there are silverthread cloud bursts
where the sky and the earth meet
after a northern shower

redgrey brick houses shimmer,  in the distance
a dog barks at the geese
several men sit under umbrellas along the canal bank
fishing for carp and roach

Droylsden never looked so clean and pretty
under the green playing fields
where boys will be boys
and football isn't just a game



In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 27 of 27

  • parenchma
    October 21

    Edit | Reply
    The piddlin poodles garnishing puddles
    Reminds me of the time back packed into the grand canyon
    A pathway chiseled into the mountainside
    Six miles long to go one mile deep
    The straps of the pack squeak
    The only sound to hear but for flop of feet
    In dust
    Sigh of companion
    Edge of canyon layers upon layers
    Red rock, ocher rock, crimson rock
    garnett rock carmen rock. Brown rock

    Give way to the mule train
    Tourists who can afford the fee
    Mules pee in the same puddle
    Like bottles being filled on a conveyor
    I can still remember the stale smell...
    Pressed against the canyon wall
    Urine and sweat drenched leather


  • Cat gold member
    October 19
    Edit | Reply
    wonderful.


  • IronIcecream
    October 19
    Edit | Reply

    what this pome misses is a "go city"

    how many people find their wings only to fly towards golden cages?

  • judmc
    October 10

    Edit | Reply

    Nice Poem

    It could easily be Failsworth before Tesco built their monstrosity on it's banks
    now it's too dangerous to walk the dogs with the supermarket traffic going
    over and all around it. We use Brookdale park instead.......George.....

  • tara wilson gold member
    October 9

    Edit | Reply
    this piece leaves such a clear & lasting image/images in my mind. i can take this poem anywhere with me now after having read it. i love the leak, lol, and the men fishing under umbrellas is such a nice element in this poem. and i like the cleanness after a rain...and the contrast with the football players.
    the ending makes me think about people, places and what we've done that forms/makes up our lives..as a whole..

    enjoyed this so much, thanks for entering.


  • Dalaney gold member
    October 3

    Edit | Reply
    great to read you
    You are still as brilliant as ever, thank God.

    L


  • Mari Goes gold member
    October 3

    Edit | Reply
    I really enjoy how you set up the scenes and personages, then make all perform a very well choreographed ballet of words. It's like watching a scene of a movie


  • Peteskid gold member
    October 3

    Edit | Reply
    football is more than a game, good that you can see, there is passion on many things, the scenes you make here are very engaging, the reader has an experience...excellent...PK


  • Nicolette gold member
    October 3

    Edit | Reply
    there is such a sense of quietude and peace about this poem, gilly..it's as if you took my eyes for a stroll along the canal. such a wonderful pastoral feel about this poem but so cleverly balanced with football and boys

    lovely poetry, my friend


    ~ Nicolette


  • DogFish silver member
    October 2
    Edit | Reply
    Lovely as a painting!


  • Floorboards
    October 2

    Edit | Reply
    What beautiful bittersweet imagery, fantastic.

    A real lasting impression.

    Alex.


  • chloris
    October 2

    Edit | Reply
    i love this.


  • ca ne fait rien
    October 2

    Edit | Reply
    Football in Manc isn't a matter of life and death, it's much more serious than that. City of course. I used to 'support ' City when I was about 13- Francis Lee and Colin Bell etc I expect I told you that before. I think Franny Lee owned a toilet roll factory in Westhoughton. It sort of seemed like you know, real, when so much doesn't seem real. Amazing how our industrial past can look so pretty sometimes innit. You show them this here with the poem Gills.

  • Rowan gold member
    October 2
    Edit | Reply
    You've painted such a scene here, I could see it, smell it, and feel it. Well done.


  • michael thomas gold member
    October 1

    Edit | Reply
    I admire how you can describe scenery and action in such a comprehensive fashion. When you are at your game none can match you.


  • Night Hope gold member
    October 1

    Edit | Reply

    There is a pungent smell of wet grass, mud upturned by ferocious feet scrambling toward the goal. Good luck in the contest, Scribe.


  • pocket pixie gold member
    October 1
    Edit | Reply
    can I have the usual, nursie?

1 - 27 of 27