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Quest




She likes
that his hair has grown longer
the shape his body takes

on his motorcycle
a dark knight
searching for his dragon

they ride
to the place he communes
with the tree spirits

where the forest whispers him prophecies
he paints poetry on her jawline
words warm on her neck

Eden's green rain falls

leaves spun wind-torn from branches

shoulders are baptized.

 
 
 
 

Author notes

responding to a challenge...

In a list

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 22 of 22

  • junniper9 gold member
    2 days ago
    Edit | Reply

    That was awesome!-

  • abu nuwas
    October 28

    Edit | Reply

    I fear..

    ....that my soul is too unsubtle for this -- I kept thinking 'communing -- is that what they cal it now?'


  • tara wilson gold member
    October 11

    Edit | Reply
    Every time i read this poem i just shake my head in disbelief because this is such a beautiful response to a challenge...what a really good & well written sensual poem this is!...i absolutely love the haiku there at the end...and
    I love the title...
    i love this poem, Jan! thanks so much for writing with a fever & entering the contest!


    • jantastic gold member
      October 12
      Edit | Reply
      You know I'm usually one for leaving out words like the, but that one I wanted there for some reason with my flow... I'll ponder. Thanks Tara.


  • illusions
    October 3

    Edit | Reply
    a beautiful poem! i love the third stanza - especially the second and third lines...what amazing imagery! wonderful write!!


  • Balldinger silver member
    October 2

    Edit | Reply
    one of the best "jawline" poems I've read in a long time - made my temporary cap come off my bottom molars...

    • jantastic gold member
      October 2
      Edit | Reply
      I'm hoping that's a good thing (other than the dental bill)

      thanks ed


  • chloris
    October 2

    Edit | Reply
    wow. the ending's breath taking. tara's gonna have a tough time judging this one
    beautiful poem.

  • Rowan gold member
    October 2

    Edit | Reply
    Simply fantastic Jan, yep, stanza 4 and 5...sigh.


  • Annalise
    October 1

    Edit | Reply
    wowzers.

    4th stanza is a knockout.


  • charcoal
    October 1

    Edit | Reply
    i love the images in the first part, and then the very poetic ending. and i love how quiet this is ( despite the motorcycle lol)

    so yes, beautiful

    • jantastic gold member
      October 2
      Edit | Reply
      quiet, event with the motorcycle... I like that, thanks


  • Love-Life-Live
    October 1
    Edit | Reply
    that was beautiful!!!!


  • Night Hope gold member
    October 1

    Edit | Reply

    Sigh. Such utter gorgeousness, Scribe. Good luck in the contest, Sweetie.



  • NurseChilly gold member
    October 1

    Edit | Reply
    not bad??? are you bonkers.. this is bloody good stuff..
    damn
    now i don't know what to do... damn you miss tastic...

    love the green sap rising in this piece.. almost reiki like too.. wondrous

  • pocket pixie gold member
    October 1
    Edit | Reply
    the artist?


    • jantastic gold member
      October 2
      Edit | Reply
      okay see, I also replied to this comment when i was having gremlins eat my letters... wow, wonder what else i didn't actually comment on

      the answer was - nah, an extension of a thought maybe, fueled by fever...

      maybe i was delirious and never really wrote the comments at all

  • pocket pixie gold member
    October 1

    Edit | Reply
    i just lost this contest
    but to lose to this
    is not so bad
    ....
    yeah

1 - 22 of 22