you brought the rain with you.
i was rehearsing for a play in a dark theater. a single lamp lit the stage. the director sat somewhere in the second or third row, watching our every move. i was in the middle of a dialogue- something feisty, when i felt the air change.
my nose registered your scent, my pores reacted to your presence in a way that was new and delicious.
i love him, i love him- my heart declared, then slid across the stage
grinning like an idiot.
i finished my dialogue.
hey, you said.
oh hi. i thought you weren’t coming today.
i changed my mind.
it won't be too long now when we can’t pretend anymore.
Comments
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i love him, i love him- my heart declared, then slid across the stage
grinning like an idiot.
My only picayune suggestion would be to clarify that with something like, "as I then slid across..." so that is sounds as you meant it and not that the heart slid across the stage...unless you meant for the heart to slide in which case, we have to talk about that, lol
Life as a play...this the first of hopefully many acts. Using the theater was a creative invention to express those first waves of love...that first act. Love when it is new is a little dance, good for the palpitations of the heart...but there is something to be said about later acts when love is more understood.
You are good!
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the first part set the scene really well, and i loved how you wrote dialogue without ""s, it made it seem more personal somehow. the last line just brought it home for me. so simple and sweet.
your writing is always impressive.
xx
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The feeling of expectation, anticipation... yup, comes a time when the curtain goes up. I liked this one.
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Beautiful!
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