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~~Venice Lovers~~

Missing image
The tide and ebbs flow
And Venice sleeps tonight
All around the city
Cathedral bells rings
The fog moves in
As lovers lay entwined
Not even thinking thoughts of tomorrow

Venus holds hands with Mars and Neptune
Keeping time with the sun
And tomorrow night
In the light of the moon
The Venice lovers dream
In the glow of the pale moonlight

Author notes

Pic courtesy of www.imagehousing.com

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • Pattiboo silver member
    November 22
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    Nice picture can almost feel the warmth of those flames ..
    Never been to Venice never been anywhere actually..with or without a lover. sigh!


  • Ethereal One gold member
    October 10

    Edit | Reply
    You bring us into the romantic world of these 2 lovers in Venice. Your words create some beautiful emotions and visions for the reader.

    I love the line: "Venus holds hands with Mars and Neptune
    Keeping time with the sun"

    Jeannette


  • sgking123
    October 6

    Edit | Reply

    wow

    you made venice sound and appear so very enchantinga nd charming...full of love and all symbols that point right there. Iloved this poem so mcuh that I read it twice..simple yet compelling. I am addng ya as a fav. please do visit em and comment me.


  • doolie gold member
    October 2

    Edit | Reply
    Very romantic, sis. The image is just perfect for your wonderful write. Great job.


  • Aesthete2000 gold member
    October 2

    Edit | Reply
    Now that is a mood, Susan!
    Entrancing!

    M-C


  • Maureen silver member
    October 1

    Edit | Reply

    Nicely done!

    I enjoyed your romantic poem and pic' very much, Sis! I wish you the best of luck in this contest!

    zzz

    Love Ya!
    Maureen


  • penman gold member
    October 1

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    What a fantastic write. And so perfect for the prompt. You did so great with this one. Best of luck in the contest


  • Melodies
    October 1

    Edit | Reply
    Cleverness and loveliness mix together to create a beautiful blend of words that you placed exactly right. Good love is happiness! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!


  • lovlilmystery
    October 1

    Edit | Reply
    This is a good piece. I loved the parts: Venus holds hands with Mars and Neptune.. Keeping time with the sun.. And liked: As lovers lay entwined.. Not even thinking thoughts of tomorrow. Beautifully put. Thanks for entering the contest. Good luck to you, in the contest. Take care and have a great day.

    Sandi


  • Draig aine gold member
    October 1

    Edit | Reply

    a most excellent write

    and Venice my city of choice, have a whole thing with masks, have a piece of erotica called Venice sleeps while Passion wakes, and many more on carnival
    and a tanka called unmasked. yep you hot another sweet spot

    loved the write and the picture!!!!


  • Kathraina silver member
    October 1

    Edit | Reply
    Oh my, this is absolutely lovely sis!
    I love the imagery here, its a tale i wish i could step into!
    Brilliant job with this write, and best of wishes



    ♥ kate


  • Lauren Noir
    October 1

    Edit | Reply
    I love the reference to the planets, it made me think of the Gods and Goddesses associated :]
    The line "Not even thinking thoughts of tomorrow" just summed up the poem for me, it was such a honeymoon piece that didn't necessarily denote true love to me, but hey, life shouldn't always have to be that serious :]

1 - 12 of 12