Random Thoughts of You Stay Stuck in my Head

It’s too late at night.
Or unbelievably early, depending on how you look at it.
2:32am to be exact.
I’m not sure why I’m even awake, really.
But I am. I will be for awhile.

I was looking through an old photo album today,
And you happened to be in it.
Pictures of us, from years ago.
I’ve never looked at them so closely…
But now I see it.

Your smile seems forced, and your eyes carry a look of…of what?
Pity? Annoyance?

I’m not angry, or hurt. I’m just disappointed. Not in you, no.
In myself.
I’m sorry I was so blind, naïve.

Sometimes I wish it just would’ve ended before it started. Save me the grief.
Now I understand I was… Well, I was a lot of things, wasn’t I?
I don’t blame you for wanting to sever our ties.
But really, was it always so bad?
Do you look back and remember any laughs, any good times?
Or have you completely erased me from your mind?

I still have the notes… The, I love you’s, the, don’t forget me’s.
Was it always a lie?

I do wish I could go back, make things better.
But what’s done is done,
I think we both know that now.

And all I want is to know if what we had, even if it’s over, was ever real.
You never hurt me, not once.
But do it now, if you have to.
Tell me that you weren’t sincere.
Give me that much, let me know the truth.

I can’t spend forever wondering.
Please, talk to me, if only for a minute.
Honestly answer me, this one last time.

I’ll still love you, even if you never love me.
But the questions that dwell in my heart hurt too much.
If only you’d tie together our loose ends.

Then maybe,
I can finally get the thoughts of you
out of my head.