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Invidia

Cracked eyes grow dark and sullen,

 As they encroach on a picture of your successes.

Covetousness clouds my senses and impales my spirit.

A quick rush of guilt but soon eclipsed,

 For I envy everyone, everything.

 

I wish I had your art, your music, your mind.

 My own are not enough to sate me.

With a glance my jealously rises to choke me.

I desire your past, your present and your dreams,

 My own life just frustrates me.

 

I'll your paint life golden and plot to steal the gilding,

 For my world doesn't shine enough.

Invidia rises to dominate me.

I drink my days in jaundice,

 For its the only taste I know.

 

I'm confined with my disease,

 Its the only way to break each day.

I'm painting my picture in deepest green.

My world is heartache, sorrow, and yearning,

For I envy everyone, everything.

 

Author notes

B e h e m o t h - K i n g (Envy)

Afew small notes.
----->Mainly I tried avioding making the poem over-complicated and as such tried to avoid using large, unusual polysyllabic words. Instead I tried using poetic devices (especially triplication) to get across the meaning
-----> I decided to go with envy largely because I think its the main one that is always there niggling at the back of my head, I know first hand I'm quite an envious person which is helped by my mates being highly gifted musicians or artists when I don't have even a scrap of ability I think its very easy to fall into despondency by thinking about what other people have that you'd give heart and soul to have. I know in my own life this mainly covers my ex-girlfriend and a general envy of people who can life life relatively carefree minded (I was head of the house at 17 due to my Dads death)

Also just to clear up incase anyone was wondering...
Invidia = "envy: spite and resentment at seeing the success of another (personified as one of the deadly sins)"

A contest entry

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Comments


  • lesbian-in-love
    November 14
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    THis was quite interesting to read. I enjoyed it. It was really good. Envy! I am sure that some people can relate to this one way or another. I know i can. THanks for entering and best of luck to you in the contest your going on to round 3.


  • Nienna Calmcacil
    October 24

    Edit | Reply
    This was so powerful! I didn't find anything wrong with it at all. I loved all of your word choice, your imagery, your emotion... and I love the creativeness of the title; you didn't literally say "envy" like some of the other entrants (and Invidia is such a pretty word...

    I thought this entry was wonderful. Thank you for entering it! You'll be in the finalist's list.


  • RainShatteredDreams
    October 23

    Edit | Reply
    Glorious detial the entire thing was well written
    Cracked eyes grow dark and sullen,

    As they encroach on a picture of your successes.

    Covetousness clouds my senses and impales my spirit.

    A quick rush of guilt but soon eclipsed,

    For I envy everyone, everything.


    this line definitely pulls the reader in! good luck in the contest!

    -Mary-


  • smitaanand
    October 5

    Edit | Reply
    Hey, the thoughts portrayed might not be very beautiful but the panache and inherent simplicity with which you wrote took my breathe away.Thanks for sharing and please continue to do so in future...