I had a guardian angel once
With wings of shining silver
I caught him by the heart
But my game soon lost allure
I twisted all his dreams
Made him doubt himself
I cast him off - set him free
Truly showed him why he fell.
His heart was filled with kindness
But buried deep was pain, it seems
For when he beat his own way free
He flew on tarnished wings.
Author notes
Still a major work-in-progress, I want to add more in between the two stanzas, and possibly rewrite the ones I have so far.
It's a little early for any serious critiquing, but, as always, you're more than welcome to share whatever thoughts you may have. And ideas--particularly ideas.
Well...what do you think?
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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I like it as it is, but i know as a writer we always want to makew our work better,
were never quite happy with it.
I think when your happy with it, it will be an amazing poem!!!
Well done!!!
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lol, well thank you. I don't know if it will truly be that good, but I'm still working on it anyway. Hopefully it'll be all right.
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Wow!. Amazing!.
You are really awesome at righting!
HeeHeeHee!
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I love what you have it's wonderful! The flow breaks a little during the line "but my trap could not endure." but it's still great work!!! ^_^
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Thank you
Yeah, I have to agree with your analysis. Unfortunately, I'm still working on it.
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