Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Lisa Says



I was building skipping stones
Lisa was being serious,
so I slowed down some
but kept spying them with my eyes

I'm thinking I could build a bridge
between two small dunes.

Lisa says it was
the Office of Homeland Fear
the day the street lamps went out
and the telephones vanished
and then re-appeared.

I wished it was aliens
"Not Them," she said, "THEM!"

I may not have enough stones
I tell her,
she says it'll be okay
if I can get it part-way. 

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 15 of 15
  • Desiree Darkk
    October 8

    Edit | Reply
    Doncha hate when you feature a poem for 60+ points and someone pastes some of your poem back to you for their comment? I hate that.

    Anyways, I always enjoy the Lisa poems. She's almost always serious. Well ... appears to be. And the poet is innocent, (except when he's looking up Lisa's dress) and almost childlike whether he's building/skipping stone or reaching in a bag to make words. Yes, an innocence that is very appealing and even when he fails he keeps trying and never gives up. Lisa usually shows him the way.

    Good to see a new Lute poem. You really should write more.

    Desiree


  • Leymi
    October 5
    Edit | Reply
    I definitely didn't understand the metaphors, but I like it anyway. Great flow. I loved the lines,

    "I wished it was aliens
    "Not Them," she said, "THEM!"

    I may not have enough stones
    I tell her,
    she says it'll be okay
    if I can get it part-way."

  • Leymi
    October 5

    Edit | Reply
    I definitely didn't understand the metaphors, but I like it anyway. Great flow. I loved the lines,

    "I wished it was aliens
    "Not Them," she said, "THEM!"

    I may not have enough stones
    I tell her,
    she says it'll be okay
    if I can get it part-way."


  • PurpleSky
    October 5

    Edit | Reply
    very interesting. Not really sure what this was refering to or perhapes my poor little brain could not wrape around the metaphor here. thanks for sharing
    huggles
    Lena

  • "I may not have enough stones
    I tell her,
    she says it'll be okay
    if I can get it part-way. "

    love i

  • Lilac Moon silver member
    October 3

    Edit | Reply
    I enjoyed this!

    Lilac Moon


  • Soft-Rain
    October 2

    Edit | Reply
    I liked this actaully alot.
    Listen to Lisa it will be okay
    Nice poetry sinple yet not ... the best kind!


  • we are nowhere
    October 1

    Edit | Reply

    great!

    brilliant, I'm going through a lot of stuff right now and it probably doesn't relate at all, but somehow I connected it to the many feelings I have and it symbolized for me everything I'm dealing with right now. Bravo, well done.


  • IronIcecream
    October 1

    Edit | Reply

    turkey sandwiches, cia jedis
    and flickering lights

    all sprinkled copiously with mystique sauce

    serve hot, eat with a silver fork
    and write about it


  • NurseChilly gold member
    October 1

    Edit | Reply
    Lisa seems to know how to handle you... lololol

    and im sure you'll traverse it all the way for sure, skimming stones on the rough ride
    yes
    tell her everything

  • Rowan gold member
    September 30
    Edit | Reply
    well, shite, don't these yeller guys know to follow me and clap?
    Sheeesh.

  • Rowan gold member
    September 30

    Edit | Reply
    it'll be fine..
    this is.
    I could relate to this, and I'm not sure if I should be appreciative, or scared.

    Well done.


  • cvillelisa
    September 30

    Edit | Reply


    Lisa needs to get Politic Sober and go skip some of them stones with her best friend.

    Hey! Are you back?
    I hope so.




  • breannawilliams
    September 30
    Edit | Reply
    Nice poem. I like it a lot =) Wonderful job.

  • Judith Chandler
    September 30
    Edit | Reply
    like the down to earth tone you use here.

    Enjoyed your write.

1 - 15 of 15