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Where I Am (No Entrance; No Exit)



It hurts. It hurts like nothing I've ever felt before. Like a sting, a dull pain, a cut, a bruise, a scrape, a burn. a walking wound bleeding out, pouring and screaming

and the world swallows...

and I'm stuck in purgatory
drifting in it's foul air


Lost in this never ending transition
from what to what?
and there is no other direction

but down.

 

All I see

is washed out faces,

distant voices saying

things I cannot comprehend

and laughter that echoes against

these walls with pictures of perfect moments

that melt slightly with every wave

of the earth's stomach acid

 

I grow weaker by the moments

almost defeated

to go to a place where I can not feel

and let everyone down

for this selfishness

doesn't sound like me

 

   I don't feel like me

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Author notes

I know this isn't like me and this isn't really my writing style...but let me have this one.

Im still revising this piece. Constructive criticism is welcome

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • Terry Collett
    October 12

    Edit | Reply
    Even if you have to use words through the gauze of hell you will still be you and the words you use will express your pain and hurt as is needed or you feel neccesary. Poem states all this so well.


  • Dalaney gold member
    October 3

    Edit | Reply
    never apologize....just write. we will read and understand and feel the place you are in.


    L


  • Forgotten truth
    October 1

    Edit | Reply
    From what I read out of this , at lest what I think you’re trying to say is that, your tied of living up to what people want, this is like an escape from everything… the pain of been let down,, and letting people down….. Just my thoughts


  • styrofoam
    September 30

    Edit | Reply
    i like the style, and i like how you expressed your thoughts.

    the opening line is very very good. made me feel immediately.


    Lost in this never ending transition
    from what to what?


    with the italics, it works brilliantly.


  • sharptooth
    September 30

    Edit | Reply
    a break from usual style isn't bad at all, sometimes its nice to explore different ways of writing. well, regardless, i like this. i'm so sorry it hurts, hopefully it gets better <3.


  • Swangrnv gold member
    September 30

    Edit | Reply

    i for one

    truly felt your pain..it made me very sad.. loved that you have finally come back to the ap pages to write, however not happy in the least that it was to pour such pain.. i will pray for your happiness my friend..you so deserve it..


    • Catie Sheeran gold member
      October 2
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you...your truely sweet. and I missed you all. Its sad to say, I had to force myself to get back on here and write. I just don't want to always write about depressing stuff or of anger. I don't want to be known as that type of writer. but I don't see me writing anything nice or beautiful for a little while. I need to get this all out of me.

      thanks for your sweet words and coming to visit.


  • tara wilson gold member
    September 30

    Edit | Reply


    it's nice to see you writing again Catie & to read your words...


  • sweet arrival gold member
    September 30

    Edit | Reply
    everyone switches a bit here and there with their writing style... sometimes with mood, or growth... you get what i mean. THIS is a poem of strength, although others may disagree. it shows your inner character of not selfishness, no, but looking at yourself from a different dimension. it's the catie that doesn't feel like you, but a small part that feels life is being tapped out and what others taste may not be what they like. we all make up the whole gamet, and like it or not, we all go through these 'episodes' if you will.

    i REALLY like this. i like that you opened up. i like how you structured it and the words you chose specifically for this.

    you share, and others reading can say, 'im not the only one that feels like this...i'm not alone'... circumstances may be different, and probably are... people's personalities are different, but we all go through it. times we feel as if we walk numbed, where others dont make sense, when we dont even make sense to ourselves. the hurt and pain is the only real thing about all of it.




    im here.
    ~g


    • Catie Sheeran gold member
      October 2
      Edit | Reply
      sounds like you know this feeling well...thanks for your kind words...it helps to know someone understands "walking numb" yup...that's me..lol. I hope to get better soon. thank you

1 - 10 of 10