Easy now,
it's coming on,
slow it up,
it's going down.
No room in the inn,
two of a kind,
beats the house,
thats now an ark,
and starts with keys,
from Adams paradise,
on the Eve of eternity,
where their walking papers,
walked on water,
that flooded left field,
from whence they were sent.
Gently now,
to the other you,
your ragged cohorts,
of black and blue angels,
and setting suns,
of iron and stone,
slam poetry
into the earth,
and pounds your chest,
on the seventh day,
of the eleventh hour.
Easy now,
it's coming on,
slow it up,
it's going down,
turn it up,
turn up the night.
A contest entry
- distract me, help me but please don't love me. by firefly star.
700 points, ended October 24, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 1000 points, 1000 pws by Shadow Anonymised.
1000 points, ended November 23, 1091 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Comments
1 - 30 of 30
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You do shuffle the words up and play a mean hand of Poetic Hold-em...I smell whiskey on this page...lol...
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Hmm...
It seem skinda biblical in a way...and kind of dark at teh same time. To reply to teh person below me, don't worry; I've already grown on you.
This one kind of confused my narrow-minded little self, but I loved it still and it's effect; especaillly the way the spacing and repetition created the ambiance.
Loving ya always,
~Ginryu -
wow, another truly amazing poem! I'm simply astounded! Lowel Poe, you're starting to grow on me!
my favorite lines:
"Gently now,
to the other you,
your ragged cohorts,
of black and blue angels,"
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structure is an important part of a poem that many often ignore... you hit it on the head with this one. great job. this write is a play on words. thanks for sharing!!
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ooooh. loved this. This is the 3rd time Adam and Eve came up for me today. I really liked, "slow it up, its going down" I read that has be in the moment. You pen is full of magic my dear. Don't stop, turn up the night
Jen
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an exciting journey through the night. I would love to be on the arm of a laddie who could show this lassie a dashing good time in the heart of darkness's embrace. Lovely work, Liam. ~gypsy~
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wow such a journey you just brought me through with an amazing rhythm !!! 'on the Eve of eternity' was probably my favorite line Great job!!!
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Imagery weaves through your write with spiritual and the natural realm that keeps the attention for sure...Your poetic voice captures us as only you can do! Excellently penned!
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thank you for entering my contest. this was a very good read thanks for sharing. good luck in my contest and keep writing poet!
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incredable
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Wow amazing write! I like the imagery and it really draws the reader in never leaving the slightest chance to stray from the read. Wonderful write!
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oh the imagery in this one:
ragged cohorts, black and blue angels, slam poetry, iron and stone, earth
I feel like I am forever telling you that there is a rolling rhythm to your poetry... but there is. makes me want to get out my bongo's, and go out to a poetry reading.
the atmosphere is gritty, smoke filled, and the heartbeats tangible. exactly the kind of place I love to be.
you capture feeling in such a way that makes me come back and reread your words again and again.
~casey
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I wonder how I ever missed this one...
Well, aren't you the busily penning poet these days?!!? This is simply awesome - what a great job, Liam!! Thank you so much for sharing this fantastic piece!! Keep it flowing... 
Peace & hugs,
xx Cyn xx
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great
Good original structure, adds to the general feel of the poem. Some great imagery interesting and at times captivating, well executed! -
A thought provoking piece of poetry Liam, the phrase turn up the night from the lips of a musician speaks to me of letting the midnight hour deal with the weight of the day, am reminded of the lyric " here it comes, here comes the night"
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the bureaucracy to blame in the 11Th hr to make black and blue the reality check painted a picture to mind and left the bull corn to sing the time and average man laid down and died... well said hun love the imagery you have penned and hope i depicted the words penned so fine .. Hugs Angel♥♥
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Very cool
Almost seems like, welcoming a challenge. Some kind of adversity...The imagery is awesome, I really dig this a lot...
"No room in the inn,
two of a kind,
beats the house,"
Ha, love that.
Again, you got me thinking...Love it~
PEACE,
BRANDON
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This is a really good piece. I like how you wrote it. Keep up your great work.
TwiztidMaggot -
I wonder how many understand the depth of this. We are fed a history of the choosing of the victors, echoes resounding down from the atrocities of the past, you know damn well they would set the gibbet up again if they could. If indeed we are in the 11th hour, you damned well and true I'll go kicking and screaming into the night, full volume with the sub hanging out the window.
Peace
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O get an impression of someone who knows the ropes offering wise and calming words to someone who is too eager and overpowering to be effective...hand in calm down motion...."Easy now,
it's coming on,
it's going down,"
very cool effect. Always read you to music, sometimes my own tune sometimes one I hear through your words. This one has it's own song
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Well, once again dear friend you leave me flabbergasted with your wonderful words. This thought provoking write truly captivates me with your use of the elements, charactures of "the Good Book" and the way you have metaphorically spoken thoughout this true work of art....
This, in my opinion should be brought to the attention of yer fellow bandmates and forged into a rock'n, rippin' tune!
-joss
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damn Liam.
I love this.
really, maybe you were blasted out of your mind, but you make perfect sense to me. I love the walking papers walking on water...that was a really cool piece of imagery, love. this write is absolutely awesome.
Rock on Gypsy Man
Love you always,
jin
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You gave me chills!
I love it...
I love your speak, if that make any sense
I think i like this poem because it feels like the Beatles song, The one about Mr. Kite's flying Circus ... or that song reminds me of your poem... I'm not sure which... if its you poem that does the reminding or his... but it's amazing none the less!
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wow, powerful!
This gave me cold chills.
It was like a beacon on the darkesk of night..
It really glows,shines right into my heart and soul.
You always write so amazingly perfect.
I love your words here,Liam.
Just amazing!
-Mandi
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WoW
That is really good! THANKS!!! -
"Gently now, to the other you, your ragged cohorts, of black and blue angels, and setting suns, of iron and stone, that slam poetry, into the earth and pounds your chest, on the seventh day, of the eleventh hour..." Wow! I love that so much! Great stanza! That's exactly how I feel too sometimes! Thanks, Liam!
love, faith
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This could easily be conceived as song lyrics, Poet. Well done.
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Nice, clean delivery of words, simple, yet advanced, an enjoyable and thought provoking read.
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There's power in every line... as strong and vibrant as the voice of Queen Janis. Well written, dear.
-K
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Turn it up...in full glow...'till the smoke burns black.
Fill the room with light.
untill it's time for you to go
bust all the light bulbs
in the spirit of the soul
it's been a crazy ride
so it turn up
block out
those nasty shadows
let the light flow
'till it's time for you to go
turn it up
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