Fingertips touch, a whisper sighs
and the clouds part before her eyes.
Yesterday's dream becomes today,
reality holds hand with May.
Summer fades but Autumn holds me
underneath this hollow oak tree.
After you left me, truths delay,
reality holds hands with May.
With a last hug, a soft "good-bye,"
our few fragile memories die.
Forlorn Hope will bitterly say
reality holds hands with May.
Fingertips touch, a whisper sighs;
reality holds hands with May.
Author notes
Prompt:
14. "tears find our eyes
falling back
back to a safer moment -
to the held hand
that changed
everything" - http://allpoetry.com/poem/5683479
Form: 3. Kyrielle Sonnet
Kyrielle Sonnet
A Kyrielle Sonnet consists of 14 lines (three rhyming quatrain stanzas and a non-rhyming couplet). Just like the traditional Kyrielle poem, the Kyrielle Sonnet also has a repeating line or phrase as a refrain (usually appearing as the last line of each stanza). Each line within the Kyrielle Sonnet consists of only eight syllables. French poetry forms have a tendency to link back to the beginning of the poem, so common practice is to use the first and last line of the first quatrain as the ending couplet. This would also re-enforce the refrain within the poem. Therefore, a good rhyming scheme for a Kyrielle Sonnet would be:
AabB, ccbB, ddbB, AB -or- AbaB, cbcB, dbdB, AB.
A contest entry
- The Ultimate La-La Challenge: Round 6 by Laura Lamarca.
800 points, ended October 8, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Suggestions?
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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The entire poem is like a portrait painted with emotion and pognancy with romance adding soul.The simpliity of the words enhances the magic this is amazingly well crafted an absolute delight to read and thanks glad you shared th repeating last line is like a sweet echo of love...
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There is a wistful quality to this write, which I like very much, particularly the refrain at the end of each stanza.
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Originality: 9/10
Creativity with prompts/form: 10/10
Balance of abstraction/imagery: 9/10
Flow/Meter/Syllables: 10/10
Cohesion: 5/5
Use of poetic device in general: 10/10
Poet's Emotion: 10/10
Reader's emotion: 10/10
Poet's personal effort: 10/10
Poem's "profound" level: 9/10
Rules followed: 5/5
Extra credit points:
Sportsmanship to fellow competitors: 5/5
Points for stepping away from comfort zone: 4/5
Respectful behaviour towards judges at all times: 5/5
Overall score: 111/115
I love Kyrielle and Kyrielle Sonnet for their ability to convey emotion through repetition in a strong anchor line and in Kyrielle Sonnet, your ending couplet must master the entire verse. I find this form works very well for poetry that touches the human heart.
I see you went there too.
Mechanically your verse is sound and you have used your chosen prompt quite well. You made me smile with this. Really a very well written Kyrielle Sonnet. It is simple, straight forward and when read slowly and softly to digest each line, this really works.
I loved it.
~Pamela 
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Aww! I am touched. I want to hug the poem now. XD Hey! I'm using a laptop! I CAN HUG IT! -hugs it-
Poem is hugged.
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Delusional Dreams
Originality: 9/10
Creativity with prompts/form: 9/10
Balance of abstraction/imagery: 9/10
Flow/Meter/Syllables: 9/10
Cohesion: 5/5
Use of poetic device in general: 10/10
Poet's Emotion: 10/10
Reader's emotion: 8/10
Poet's personal effort: 9/10
Poem's "profound" level: 9/10
Rules followed: 5/5
Extra credit points:
Sportsmanship to fellow competitors: 5/5
Points for stepping away from comfort zone: 4/5
Respectful behaviour towards judges at all times: 5/5
Overall score: 106/115
~Hettie
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For the most part, i found this to be a very well written kyrielle sonnet; yet i found a nit-pick - your repeating line doesn't read as fluently as the other lines...the rhythm is somewhat off & i think it is in the usage of "realities". The other lines seem to have a natural rhythm when read aloud that line 4 somehow lacks and when read, seems to finish somewhat abruptly because of the slight change in rhythm. That said though, i enjoyed the read.
Originality: 9/10
Creativity with prompts/form: 9/10
Balance of abstraction/imagery: 10/10
Flow/Meter/Syllables: 9/10
Cohesion: 5/5
Use of poetic device in general: 9/10
Poet's Emotion: 10/10
Reader's emotion: 9/10
Poet's personal effort: 9/10
Poem's "profound" level: 9/10
Rules followed: 5/5
Extra credit points:
Sportsmanship to fellow competitors: 5/5
Points for stepping away from comfort zone: 4/5
Respectful behaviour towards judges at all times: 5/5
Total score: 107/115
laura.
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What a lovely tender Kyrielle! I love this form, can't say I do it well, but I love yours! Nicely done on the rhyme! You're better than you give yourself credit for!
Best wishes,
Kris
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I love the kyrielle sonnet for its flow and repetition. Your gentle poem works well in the format. I have a couple of small suggestions. In reading your refrain it does not enjamb with the previous line in all three stanzas so you should consider a semi-colon or period before it. This next I admit is a personal preference, but I would prefer to see the title without the brackets. Good luck. Peace, Liz
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I've never heard of the form before, but you definitely rocked it.
the line you chose to repeat was beautiful and overall i really liked.
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This is a tender penning filled with heartsongs, Poet. Good luck in the contest, Sweetie.
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Form poetry...and a sonnet too
I really liked this one,
flowed flawelessly till the end.
All the best with this.
Ken
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You've done well...
challenging yourself. This is a fine piece and very lively. A good read.
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loved it!
this is stunningly beautiful : )
I like the repetition and the whole Kyrielle Sonnet form you used here; it works very well with the topic and every line was a piece of imagery brought to life.
absolutely wonderful work!
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The Kyrielle in it's various guises is rapidly becoming my favourite poetic form, it seems to lend itself perfectly to rhythm and flow.
Beautifully written.
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Wow, this is such a moving kyrielle sonnet...so romantic, and gentle in lines, rhyme and verse....Bravo dear for your attempt here in this write! All the best in the contest! M.
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Ha! So you did it. Bravo... And talking about the seasons
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