Hand-in-hand our thoughts will dance,
though not under the sun.
What is our name?
In our minds,
"I own the world."
Shedding light,
expelling wisdom over you;
the vassal of society.
Between our lungs
we breathe of eternity.
Exceeding the mundane-
we'll run away with our youth.
A contest entry
- Jury of Your Peers.....#19 by islekine.
730 points, ended October 2, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
hmm. no rhyme.. thoughts?
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Your line formation wasa quite unusual, but it worked very well for this poem.
It gives me the impression Gods conversing their enlightenment of the world.
I enjoyed reading this gem.
Good luck in the contest
Bill
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Your choice of wording works so well in this context.
The words were used to the benefit of the write.
Great job! Good luck!
Safely hidden in her fantasies,
Dreamer With Dreams -
You use an elusive style to present an image of strength, I think. But more so, of conviction. It seems to be an affirmation of escape -- from the mundane, the typical, the ordinary. The poem is open enough to lend more than one interpretation, and I like that. Good luck in the contest.
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i like how you used spacing to show more meaning! and I really like the message
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I like it!
Thanks for sharing your talent! Best wishes in the contest and always!
Write on and on...
and
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