Crypt of my Soul ~
Always to Know ~
Demonic feelings of Olde~
Like masturbation of thy spirit~
'Tis not the chosen It~
No need to fear It...
A fantasy; unbeknownst to me~
A virgin to the spiritual reality~
At once I felt I must Scream~
As painful tears flow down my cheeks~
my tenacious being longs to speak...
For I am Not one to be Meek
Putrid are the thoughts Lost;
at tremendous cost~
Early summer 'tis covered in frost...
Like a ghost that cannot go on~
to the next dimension.
A mere Pawn~
Sacrificed to the earliest of Dawns...
And so it goes...
In a list
A contest entry
- Ghost World - Rhyme Only by Frodofan.
400 points, ended October 4, 3 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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The phrasing of the second line is odd and really doesn't make any sense to me. The chosen IT? What is it? And what is the comparison of "masturbation" supposed to suggest... exactly?
Otherwise, it was interesting. I think it got better as it went along. -
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Thank you
for your review and for the bronze trophy. The Chosen 'it' being the demonic feelings of olde. Masturbation of the spirit refers to the spirit recieving divine ecstasy, that is ten times more intense than the mundane but that much more difficult to obtain, if that makes sense. Anyway, thank you and have a great day!
Blessed Be~
)O(
DragonBlue
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Thanks for the explanation. It makes perfect sense now.
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my first impression was of a dark piece
A mausoleum was my first impression and the spiritual journey that the soul must have gone through to get there. I love the 3rd stanza it was great. good imagery, you could even add more lines to it to make it better. I didn't care for the title or the ending though. otherwise good job, poet.
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thank you!
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Damn, that's good!
Original thought spoken well! I like what is done here. Seems to have an honest emotional flavor to it and I like its voice.
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Great to hear from you Dark Otter! I have missed
our intellectual exchanges. Thank you for reviewing my work, and for stopping by to say salutations. Hope all is well on the homefront for you and yours.
Blessed Be~
)O(
DragonBlue
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