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The Price of War

To some a war may be perverse,

A fact I understand quite well.

For some may die or even worse,

A soul may be condemned to hell.

 

A fact I understand quite well,

A war is not a child’s game;

When screaming men are sent to hell

They look for someone else to blame.

 

A war is not a children's game,

When kings send soldiers to their death.

They look for someone else to blame;

They cast aspersions with each breath.

 

When kings send soldiers to their death,

They think not who will pay the price.

They cast aspersions with each breath.

They’re selling souls like merchandise.

 

They think not who will pay the price;

They think not of the hungry child

They’re selling souls like merchandise;

They only act with hearts gone wild.

 

They think not of the hungry child

With swollen gut and belly aches.

They only act with hearts gone wild.

To cover up their own mistakes.

 

With swollen gut and belly aches,

The women too must pay the price

To cover up their own mistakes

They bear a child of sacrifice.

 

The women too must pay the price

Those wives and daughters left alone

They bear a child of sacrifice,

A price that love cannot atone.

 

Those wives and daughters left alone

For some may die or even worse.

A price that love cannot atone,

To some a war may be perverse.

 

iiv

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Author notes

Prompt:
Submit a poem which considers our love of war despite our grasp of its horrors.

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Comments

1 - 28 of 28

  • Rebekah-Ann silver member
    October 15

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    This poem grabbed me and the form was absolutely stunning! I enjoyed this poetry and I feel each line you wrote's passion and still think you are very talented!!

    It's lovely my friend!!


  • Haygood gold member
    October 5

    Edit | Reply

    I love this form.

    I have done two of them and still I'm in awe of the form. You have done a masterful work here. Keep penning.

  • Eusebius
    October 5

    Edit | Reply
    A good pantoum is perhaps the most effective of poems, and this one is really, really good! I was entranced, hypnotized and absolutely loved it!


  • second-born
    October 3

    Edit | Reply
    "They think not who will pay the price..."

    I agree with you...I remember Y. Amichai's "The Diameter of the Bomb"...war is senseless...and its disastrous effects will last until eternity...from our generation...our children's generation...and so on...

    your poem has a powerful message written wonderfully...

    regards, kat


  • Rend the Veil gold member
    October 2

    Edit | Reply
    well Amera,
    you have penned a mighty powerful write,
    and as i looked on your profile and saw the
    many different styles you have written and
    I am now writing a comment that couldn't give
    you the honor due, you are truly an amazing talented
    author, writer

    just simply gorgeous

    love to you

    Rend

  • G.String
    October 1

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    Beautifully expressed

    You said it all,good thing though,many are waking up to reality.
    Great write!


  • Peripatetic gold member
    October 1

    Edit | Reply
    This reminds me of Mark Twain's powerful, "The War Poem" given in the form of an ironic prayer calling for God to bring horrific death to young soldiers and relentless sorrow to the families of the enemy.

    The thesis line, "For some a war may be perverse", reveals the perverse nature of our humanity as Jeff exclaims in his commment,
    "Only some? it seems to me that all should find all wars perverse!"

    I do not know that the kings who look for others to blame and cast aspersions while selling souls like merchandise do so only to cover up their own mistakes, but most wars seem to be avoidable. Perversely, we find reasons to fight among ourselves on our owns streets and on the battlefields across the world for the profit of a moment rather than work together toward the prosperity of peace.

    This poem discovers the motivation of war in the craven need of the powerful to distract from their own shortcomings. Their self-absorption is revealed in a psychopathic disregard for others who are sacrificed to cover their sins. This may apply to kings, controllers of business, community leaders and neighborhood gangbangers. Our wars are not all fought with guns and bombs, but the innocent are usually the first and most numerous of casualties and those least likely to be remembered when the war is over.

  • xyz
    October 1

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    really really good...

    totally like the structure and the words get better and better as the poem goes on...thanx a lot. sunday.


  • PerVirtuous
    September 30

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    It is amazing how those that sit home in cozy meeting rooms in thousand dollar suits send people to die and kill other people. You captured it beautifully.


  • HaleyMary
    September 30

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    powerful write, Sis. excellent rhyme and powerful imagery and message in this piece.
    you've described the atrocities of war quite powerfully. war is a terrible thing and it's a tragedy to have to watch so many people suffer, especially when it's children dying in a war. That's something that should never happen in this world. Thanks for sharing and best of luck in the contest.


  • darkyinsoul
    September 30

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    As alawys you do impress
    love the form
    and the expression in which you portray
    well done poetess!!
    Thanks for the share
    Darky


  • awannabepoet
    September 30

    Edit | Reply
    Amera, I never leave your page with a feeling of hunger for right and proper verse, for where I to say such a thing after reading something as excellent as this what kind of person let alone poet would I really be?

    What an excellent poem and the form is quite nice, gosh you know once again you shine the line into the deep and seemingly bottomless pit of poetic opportunity.

  • Purrsanthema
    September 30

    Edit | Reply
    I've read this poem several times between yesterday and today and it leaves me so speechless that I've had trouble thinking of things to say. Each time I reread it it gains in beauty and power: your choice of this form uses it's natural strengths to reinforce the message in an unusual way: it is as if a mind in woe is going over the catastrophes so continually and focusing upon them. It is a beautiful lament.


  • Desire gold member
    September 30

    Edit | Reply

    Wow~

    This is a Beauty Precious One and the Message
    Powerful~ I was drawn in with the Flow that
    was smooth as silk~ Bravo!!

    Tight rhyme and fine form~ as always
    This swelled the eyes but also Inspired
    the Soul to seek answer

    Keep that quill dancing

    Thank You for sharing Your Talent
    Best wishes in the contest
    with love & light~ Desire~*~


  • Skybow silver member
    September 30

    Edit | Reply
    Your Phantoum is brilliant and sadly so very true. Everyone sent to war pays the price for it along with their families. If they come back they are changed, sometimes damaged irreparably. I wish the ones who want to go to war would send themselves, their own sons and daughters to pay the price. I bet there would be fewer and smaller conflict, don't you?

    "When kings send soldiers to their death,
    They think not who will pay the price.
    They cast aspersions with each breath.
    They’re selling souls like merchandise. "

    Bravo!!!


  • Cup-a-Joe
    September 30

    Edit | Reply

    Perfect.

    ~They think not who will pay the price;
    They think not of the hungry child
    They’re selling souls like merchandise;
    They only act with hearts gone wild.~~
    You have out done yourself on this work of art.
    I salute you.

    Joe


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    September 30

    Edit | Reply
    Craftsmanlike pantoum


  • Poetic-Theorem silver member
    September 29

    Edit | Reply
    WOW
    Brilliant take on the prompt
    Both dark and poignant as well
    Tugs heavy on the heart
    Profoundly true, which makes this piece so powerful
    What else can I add beside a great Pantoum...
    MASTERPIECE
    Bravo

    Wish you the best in the contest
    Much love my friend

    David


  • Disturbed Prodigy
    September 29

    Edit | Reply
    all i can say is that this is truth spoken through verse, and that is what i love about it, i have seen the effect war has had on no just the soldiers but their family. but more importantly it is as you say, it is not a game for children. keep it flowing


  • JinSays gold member
    September 29
    Edit | Reply
    yep, outstanding.
    not a word could I add to this. for once, eh?
    love,
    jin


  • Swangrnv gold member
    September 29

    Edit | Reply

    POWERFUL

    OUTSTANDING!! the form Queen reigns supreme once again.. I don't really think you're ever in danger of being challenged though!~ you rock!!


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    September 29

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    I'm with you here Sis! Your voice is so strong in this... the message powerful and clear! Yes.. war is indeed perverse!!

  • Topnotchsy
    September 29

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    Powerful write, presented flawlessly in a form more complicated than I've had the courage to attempt.


  • Denerica silver member
    September 29

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    You really know how to do these forms, I only dabbled and as you know I stick to rhyme mostly. This has an impact, you speak what we all want to say, what we think and know. Excellent once again my friend. Blessings.


  • nordicsky silver member
    September 29

    Edit | Reply
    I had to check out Pantoum, as I suspected it was some horrendously complicated form.
    Why let writing poetry be easy, when you can put all sorts of complicated obstacles in your way?
    Then I realised, that this was just a challenge for your wonderful mind and a chance to boss words around.

    So...2 and 4 become 1and 3 except in the last stanza (where everything is arse about face and upside down) when 1 from the first stanza becomes 4 and 3 becomes 2.


    That’s the complicated bit over, now I can tell you how much I enjoyed your poem. This Pantoum does have a wonderful rhythm.
    War is terrible, wasteful, and destructive and does not belong in the twenty- first century.
    Instead, international disputes should be decided by form poetry competitions. With you leading the U.S. Team, world domination would be achieved by teatime.

    Thanks for posting,
    Love, Peter




  • Andre ben-YEHU
    September 29

    Edit | Reply

    Bountiful and profound...


    This Pantoum is exquisitely extraordinary for its subjects dealt; flow, imagery and lexicon.

    Much gratitude to the author for adding value to Poetry; for enriching the American Fine Letters, and for showing us how Poetics stand ~through this majestic poem in major art~ titled, "The Price of War".

    In respect and admiration,

    Andre Emmanuel Bendavi ben-YEHU

    P.S.: I was surprised with the "LURE" on the second stanza! (Whether intentional or not.) It stimulates one's obeservation; for LINE seven should be the repetition of line FOUR.


  • cricketjeff gold member
    September 29

    Edit | Reply
    Only some? it seems to me that all should find all wars perverse!

    It's been a while since you have given us a pantoum and here you present us, in perfect iambic tetrameter with a masterpiece of the form, your repeats all read as unforced and they drive home the passionate message, Bloody good stuff

    Jeff


  • StarEyes
    September 29

    Edit | Reply
    Sis,

    What a read this one is! Both sides so clearly stated, along with the horrors. You really did great with this one!

    Best of luck in this contest!

    and love

    Nyetta

1 - 28 of 28