Q & a

1.If a lesbian has sex with other women but never with another man is she still considered a virgin?  Yes

2.What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?  Offer it another plant: unless it's a dangerous animal, then just run

3.If parents say, "Never take candy from strangers" then why do we celebrate Halloween?  They hope you will get poisoned so they can sue the candy company

4.Why is it OK for dudes to slap other dudes' asses in football, but not in any other situation?  Homophobia does not count in sports (in their minds), but I think they're really expressing their "inner gay"

5.Can you cry under water? Sure

6.In libraries, do they put the bible in the fiction or non-fiction section?  I'd say Theory Section

7.Why do they call it "getting your dog fixed" if afterwards it doesn't work anymore?  Fix the population problem

8.If I had my legs amputated, would I have to change my height and weight on my driver's license?  Yes

9.Why people are so scared of mice,which are much smaller than us, when no one seems to be scared of Micky Mouse, who is bigger than us?  They're either stupid or have no depth perception

10.Is it possible to be allergic to water? If so then how the heck do you shower?  For some rare number of people; I think they die from it, our bodies are like some high % of water

11.Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?  Weight differences, I think; They should still fall at the same rate, but snow kinda floats rather than a straight fall like rain

12.When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?  Desperate people in need of cash

13.Why ARE Trix only for kids?  The Trix Rabbit is a pediphile

14.If a turtle is born without a shell is he naked or homeless?  Both

15.If you swallow a rainbow what color does it turn? Black; It's the presence of all colors

16.Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell phone up your ass?  Good thing I hate cell phones...

17. If you are asked to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth and your the main witness, what if you say "no"?  You get held in contempt, I guess

18. If you were to get drunk in a country where the drinking limit is under 21, and went to the states and were still over the limit, could they arrest you for underage drinking even though you did not do the drinking in the
states?  No

19.If ghosts can walk through walls and glide down stairs, why don't they fall through the floor?  Force of will

20.Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?  Stupid superstition vs. over confidence

21.Why doesn't Winnie the Pooh ever get stung by the bees he messes with?  It's a conspiracy thought up by Disney

22. Have you ever dug a hole to see if you could actually get to China?  When I was 15

23.When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you going to be smiling?  They want the cop to know what you look like on a good day

24. If Harry Potter was gay would those who love him so much read the book?  I would, but generally, no; that's why JKR took so long to out Dumbledore

25. If your opinionated does that mean your a bitch?  Rarely

26. If you drop a feather off the empire state building would it do the same damage if you were to drop a penny?  I hope not

27. If lightning is attracted to metal then what the hell is with umbrellas? Isn't that metal?  Good question; I'm throwing my umbrellas away when I get home

28. Why do we saving that life is hell? When we don't even know what hell is like?  Perception of Dante's Inferno

29. If it only takes one match to start a forest fire, why on earth does it take me a whole box of matches and a can of lighter fluid to light my grill?  You gotta use a few firestarter packets: one match, many flames

30.When butterflies get upset or nervous, what do they get in their stomachs?  Aphids