Time, encased in a black-box with hidden scars.
Death, a foe the immortal youths challenge.
I see it all from the doorway of my haunted house,
The cardboard mansion that I fear to abandon.
Petrified ghosts armored in tanned sports coats,
Corpses frozen with laughter, rotting skin giving way,
Bones choked with the dust of their ground kin,
They speak to me from hollowed abysses,
Eyeless apparitions that whisper to me their visions.
They venture many miles, having toured Hell’s stages,
Having shown signs to Heaven’s on-looking faces,
They’re digested backed to be as gnomes upon my lawn.
Falling up, I see they were not buried deep enough,
For the crust and the core did not scorch my deeds.
Mouths agape, shrill memories communicate to the wind;
Speaking of the sin pushed upon them; blades and severed limbs.
Crumbling angels that will not rest in the past bellow symphonies
Muting the deathless choirs of disorderly orchestras,
This is the bitter song that has soothed beasts of exotic rage.
Shattered stain glass lies at my feet now, my own blood
Mixing into a mural I thought completed; an artist’s work
Is never done, but it seems I am, having collapsed
Into the web of my masterpieces: Life, time, and death.
Now, there’s no time for any more lives to die.
Author notes
This is actually a re-do of one of my older pieces; well, that's what it was supposed to be.
It ended up starting about the same, but taking a new direction.
I'm not sure about the very last line. Should I leave that off? That kind of implies something I'm not sure I want it to imply.
I wanted it to be about a killer. Like... Dexter.
Well, when I say *wanted*, I mean, that's how it ended up coming out. 
The last line kind of makes it more about... Death, itself, personified.
Keep it or toss it? 
Purple!
Comments
-
I loved this one! Your metaphors, your choice of words, brilliant! Typical Nephlimism! I bet by now I wouldn't have to know the author and I may just be able to guess as to if a poem is written by you!
Your poetry is truly inspiring and always urges me to try and write better, as I think I am nil compared to you. You have the brain of twenty scholars, and the dictionary within you. I commend you on another work that is far past your own years! 
<3 my Nephy, my owner.

-
Loved it
Elizabeth this is a very dark poem. I love it. I totally could see a killer like Dexter doing this. Excellent write sis. I love the imagery that yyou have portrayed in this poem.

-
you are such a good writer keep up the good work
-
Wow I had fun picking this apart
Free form is more fun for me to analyze an i love it.
I say toss the last line, It takes away from the killer, I liked how it was just like a story. , aka more descriptive. -
This was good and very well written. I really enjoyed reading this!
Keep up the good work. -
excellent !!! well done well written and express

-
Hard choice, honestly. maybe you could change the last line up a little, but keep it? I don't know. I'm always a fan of compromise.
It's beautiful, as always, anyway. ^_^

-
I say toss it. The line before, I think, would make a better ending. But it's entirely up to you. Great poem! I wonder if I've read the other...but anyway keep up the great work! -Liz

-
Firstly whats with the random exclamation of purple lol =]
Personally, I think the last line works brilliantly - just like the rest of the poem - but if you do not wish the poem to imply a personification of death then you should probably axe it.
I thought this was a great poem, it was unique and really drew me in I loved reading it, each stanza is brilliant.
One thing I would change is 'hollowed abysses' I would change 'hollowed' to 'hallowed' I think that would work brilliantly considering the subject matter.
Phoenix =]








