Jennifer's Playground

Jennifer was sometimes amused
and the kids at the playground
loved to hear her tell stories
she liked to spin on the merry-go-round
as if colors could spin
but her parents sometimes fought
except for the arguments
life was pretty grand
sometimes it felt so good
to be caught up in her daydreams
Jenny captured frogs in the sand
when she liked playing outside
with children
Kids whose parents thought she was
A bad influence on them

she didn't know the world outside
imagination-land where images
became so twisted
she turned eight
and told herself stories
of men raping her
she told herself to
look into the glass
she saw a tunnel
with no light at the end
the yellow man laughed
because the walls had
always warped when she tried
To fall asleep
like the nightmares of
floating to the ceiling
a raisin deferred
as the lights of cars
felt like lullabies of people
who were coming to her
reaching for her

and she felt home
her father thought
it made no sense
the expenses
and they hated her to get between
their screaming
when she went to school
she fell behind
My name is crazy he said
but it didn't hurt her
she must have been lost somewhere

Jenny liked her thoughts
though she played games
sometimes with her will
daring herself to fly
off of the piano bench
she got into the car and drove
because she was no longer
the passenger
and those dreams made her feel scared
she was sick of driving
everyone crazy
why did it feel magical
sometimes
the sunshine
and hospitals
and waking up cold and numb

She grew up finally
only, she never wanted to really
she wanted to be a hero
and save the world
looking for people to save
she found no one
and she had to go home
now it should have ended
with an explosion
but why give anyone credit
For the pain
We all deserve something
on Jennifer’s playground.