They hurt, they hurt so bad,
all those 'right' words you said.
Truth couldn't help that time,
not even reason, only my rhyme.
So I wrote to erase you from my life,
to finally pull out your betrayal’s knife
that went deep through my heart and soul,
not to look back was my only goal.
Were your words droplets of gold,
or were they mere lies cheaply sold?
After all that happened, I can swear –
no longer do I care.
Even now you’re gone,
you make me write on.
And with every word about me and you,
I feel my freedom is near and true.
Once, I thought I’d die if you weren’t mine,
but now I see without you I’ll be just fine.
You leaving is not the worst possible fate,
should you ever come back, it will be late.
Author notes
I'm really almost free. Still can't forget it all, but at least it doesn't hurt when I do remember.
What did you think
Comments
1 - 36 of 36
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So I wrote to erase you from my life,
to finally pull out your betrayal’s knife
that went deep through my heart and soul,
not to look back was my only goal.
Were your words droplets of gold,
or were they mere lies cheaply sold?
After all that happened, I can swear –
no longer do I care.
i love this one soo much., you have no idea. i have gone through alot lately and this was exactly how i feel. like the only path to freedom is to write. good luck love! -
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Thank you so very much!
Nela
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Very true
Very true and honest words, its the truth that time waits for none and life moves on, well done :-)
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Thank you for stopping by and taking your time to read the poem.
Nela
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This poem's amazing.. it kinda really touches me, 'cause there's a situation that this poem really relates to right now; one of my best friends (who I love) is about to leave my school to a different part of the country... and only now, he admits to me some horrible things, horrible problems that he's always been hiding. And it's like the friend leaving is the friend that never came...
Thank you so much for this poem.
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Thank you for reading. The best thing for a poet is the fact readers can relate to a poem. I'm not surprised, this has happened to many people. I hope you'll find a true friend soon.
Nela
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I really enjoyed this poem.....
you shared a vulnerable strength
that is the courage and depth
of a truly Beautiful Womans heart!
way to write!
ears/Seattle sis
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Thanks for reading and for your lovely words.
Nela
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"They hurt, they hurt so bad,
all those 'right' words you said."
"So I wrote to erase you from my life,"
"Were your words droplets of gold,
or were they mere lies cheaply sold?
After all that happened, I can swear –
no longer do I care."
"Even now you’re gone,
you make me write on."
"Once, I thought I’d die if you weren’t mine,
but now I see without you I’ll be just fine.
You leaving is not the worst possible fate,
should you ever come back, it will be late."
mh
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Thank you for reading!
Nela
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this is just so strong and meaningfull,
i know this too well, its said when they find out what they wanted
all along was you and the love you gave, as you said its too late
well done, very smooth flow,
with love and blessings
Rend
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Thank you for stopping by.
Nela
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I am glad you share how you feel. And somehow in the sharing, the feeling itself changes, a little at a time, and grows toward acceptance and letting go. And then, surprise!, how much this experience has done for us, how it has helped us grow. You heal with every word, just like the rest of us. Blessings on your heart, Nela. It is all worth it, and you know this. I'm looking forward to your next!
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Thank you so much for taking your time to read this, you have no idea how right you are. Writing is the best cure.
Nela
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Almost,Yes almost
"Almost free" is the most appropriate title for such bittersweet experience of love in life.
Truth and reasons are surely not the things that can bring solace to a mind betrayed.
Rhymes and poetry are surely the better friends at these hours.You make me wonder how similar we thought at the same age under same situations standing decades away!
Perhaps we never become totally free from our painful pasts.
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Thank you so much for stopping by and reading my comment. We can never be truly free from our past. As I wrote in my AN, the closest we can come to it is that it doesn't hurt when we think about it.
Thanks again,
Nela
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really great .
thats really beautiful no not beautiful amazing way to get ride of your anger and hatred,i really like your way in expressing your emotions you always seem like an artist who drew a picture and have choosen the best color for each line for each inch really you are very talented keep writing my friend .
from your biggest fan. -
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Thank you, Eizen! This is the way I write, some lines come to my mind and than I see what I want to do. And just wait for some more words that fit my idea. I'm not a poet who writes in one breath, so to speak, but I did that with some poems.
Thanks again,
Nela
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I have been there...
Honestly, I still am right there. As I read each line, these words felt like my own thoughts. Fret not my friend. It wont be long before the pain is nothing more than a glimmer of a memory. Excellent write.
JS
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Thank you for reading and for the words of encouragement. I hope you too will soon be free from your past.
Nela
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This is very, very good Nela. 4th stanza, I'd break the first line at the comma and make it two lines to keep the 4 line stanzas, looks like just a proof over site and and the last line might read better as "should you ever come back it will be too late".
Where have you been hiding all of this rhyme as of late, this is perfect, not forced at all, and a nice put down too, very well written, I hope he reads this.
Rick
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Thank you for reading, Rick! I really appreciate your comments. You are right about the fourth stanza, but I'd the last line just the way it is. I put a comma there so readers would pause a bit and that way 'too' is not necessary.
I wasn't hiding this rhyme just didn't have it. Poetry is becoming more and more important and I'm writing more often than ever and I think I'm developing. That's where this rhyme comes from.
Nela
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i love this.
It is a truly amazing poem I love the lines
"Once, I thought I’d die if you weren’t mine,
but now I see without you I’ll be just fine."
Congratulations
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Thank you!
Nela -
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welcome
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Wonderful poem Nela !
Keep on penning the way that you do
Eventually , I know you'll be free
And all your dream will then come true ..
This was a splendid read indeed , thank you !
Best wishes & hugs , Easy
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Thank you, dear Easy!
Nela
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Very well written Nela! Full of emotion. Keep writing him out of your life. Every word that you write helps you to heal I think. Nice job on this poem, bursting with heartfelt emotions. Big
Marlene
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Thank you, I think I'm healed.
Nela
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wow
so nicely written poem alot of self will has gone into it and the manner in which you will urself is admirable.loved this piece. -
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Thank you for the lovely words.
Nela
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That is excellent, you know it is liberating as you are feeling it when you write, the more you reflect on it the more life seems likely to just keep chugging along.
Keep writing Nela, you have an excellent way with words and rhyme.
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Thank you dear, your comments are always appreciated.
Nela -
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As are your words Nela, your poems are always spot on.
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The ideas behind this are very good, though the rhyming feels a bit forced as it forces you to organise lines in awkward ways at some point. Also, your rhythm seems (at least to me) to get thrown off at some points. Line two sounds like it needs another syllable, line three might need a few more. Line six sounds like it needs to lose a syllable.
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Thank you for taking your time to read the poem. Yes, I sometimes tend to organize lines in awkward way, but they sound good to me.
Nela
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