I
tilted
the
mirror
to only inhale glass.
This picture doesn't seem right.
With the heels of my shoes cut off,
I [felt] like I could only walk sideways,
and for some reason, you stared at me more.
I simply uttered,
"Do I not breathe pretty enough?"
I am only human;
but I secretly can only breathe in ashes.
One. At a time.
I hoped&wished on a Sunday morning,
but I only got a couple seconds older,
with less of a conscience.
Inside of hallways so dim,
I'd breathe c i r c l e s of smoke into your chest.
You'd laugh so much your lungs came out.
You still told me I was your favorite.
You studied me like a slowly dying flower,
and somehow that made me feel attractive.
Author notes
This was a fascinatingly fun write.
My inspiration was: when I first met my [now] boyfriend and we kept giving subtle hints that we liked each other. I alwayyyys felt like he was being a stupid boy and I just wanted him to freaking date me. But inside, I always still felt a bit ... weird in my skin. You know? Crazy Faren... 
I quite enjoyed listening to "This Picture" by: Placebo.
I now have it on my computer
A contest entry
- The Ashtray Girl -- A song prompt. (This Picture) by Heroesrox.
400 points, ended September 30, 3 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
I simply uttered,
"Do I not breathe pretty enough?"
I am only human;
but I secretly can only breathe in ashes. -
B----a------d-----a-------s-----------s.
I am ending the contest now to give this gold. I only got two entries, but this was not really a popular contest.....Hrm... Very nicely penned, though!
I love the way you weaved your own personal story into the prompt and came up with this wonderpul work. Fantastic.
-
This was really good. I enjoyed reading this. I would have too say that this is my favorite part:
With the heels of my shoes cut off,
I [felt] like I could only walk sideways,
and for some reason, you stared at me more.
But overall this was pretty good! -
I
tilted
the
mirror
to only enhale glass.
-that is a really offseting feeling. vivid in this strange way seeing as it is not really possibly to enhale glass (think it may be spelled 'inhale' though). but i love it. i love the careless way you've changed the state without really noting it as something out of the ordinary.
and then the next line provides so much of the irony because it's alluding to something deeper, but the first image is so surreal that it makes you smile
I [felt] like I could only walk sideways,
and for some reason, you stared at me more.
-okay, there is just SO much i adore about that. to the worlds end i love it. it holds that appeal of strange people. odd people who are so damn interesting. bit like you. xD
I simply uttered,
"Do I not breathe pretty enough?"
-probably would remove 'simply' there. i don't know why, i just think it sounds better without it. but it doesn't really make a lot of difference though.
but I secretly can only breathe in ashes
One. At a time
-reealllyyy like that. the process of breathing ashes one at a time. it's a bit like breathing fragments of distergrated wood. very, veryy well written.
You'd laugh so much your lungs came out.
-ahhahahaaaa....... that is.
AWESOMEEEEEEE
You studied me like a slowly dying flower,
and somehow that made me feel attractive.
-can't even explain this part. fucking superb. this has been one of my favourites by you. fascinatingly fun to read :
Adding your comment:
