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hello i love you (prt 1)


(phone call every second line is a girl the rest is a guy)

hey
how are you
im pretty good
awesome
u
im fine
whats up
not much u
ummmmm
what
i dont know how to say this
oh no did something bad happen ?
no
what!
i love you
what!?
im srry
no its ok
really
yeah know why
why
i love you too

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Shellibee
    November 5

    Edit | Reply
    i love how this is a more or less one word conversation, yet so much happens and its simplecity really shows that love can be this simple. thanks for sharing.!


  • xochocoholicxo
    October 3

    Edit | Reply
    this was really kool it reminded me of this:

    boy: i saw her today
    grl: i saw him today
    boy: she looks better
    grl: i couldn't stop staring at him
    boy: i can't even look at her without crying
    grl: he couldn't even look at me
    boy: i asked her how she's doing
    grl: i asked him about his grlfriend
    boy: i'd pick her over any grl i'm with
    grl: i have no chance woth him
    boy: i told her i missed her
    grl: he wasn't serious
    boy: i meant it
    grl: he didn't mean it
    boy: i lost her
    grl: i love him
    boy: i had a hard time saying good bye
    grl: he wanted to leave
    boy: i went home and cried
    grl: i went home and cried
    boy: i wonder about her at night
    grl: i dreamed of him
    boy i want her
    grl:
    boy: i got a call 2 days later
    grl:
    boy: she killed herself
    grl:
    boy: its my fault
    grl:
    boy:
    BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP

    they both died
    its kinda like my poem suicidal love

    again great work

    xoxo


  • Sheilasbabygal4life gold member
    September 30

    Edit | Reply
    This was good. I enjoyed reading this! I was unable to pick out my favorite part of this. It was just about a phone call, But don't get me wrong this was great. I enjoyed it. Keep up the great work!


  • Ms.spooki
    September 30

    Edit | Reply
    im rather curios who this boy is.
    its always the breath taken away when you finnally tell them.
    odd how it works.
    quite the poem.keep writing


    • loudlady
      September 30
      Edit | Reply

      honestly... pathetic!

      honestly this is kinda pathetic but this convo never even happend ! i dont even have a phone but i do have someone in mind lols and i dont think they would even care polus they are like too old for me and my parents would kill me if the found out so lols but if u would keep reading i would be very appreciative thanks (and yes i know some of the thrill is gone since its not reality)

      • Ms.spooki
        October 10
        Edit | Reply
        aye well yes.
        love is a disease no?
        -laughs- only admiring your work.


      • xochocoholicxo
        October 3
        Edit | Reply
        boooooooooooooooo
        lol its your opinion but i say
        booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
        to you!
        sry just had to say that
        lol


        • loudlady
          October 4
          Edit | Reply

          lols

          lols its ok no probs whatsoever!
          i just have always had a terrible self confidence issue so it kinda carries out in my poetry sometimes

1 - 8 of 8