Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Burn (unfinished)

Never before, have I had someone
Dance so carelessly on the fingers which
Hold immanent death.

The stench of petrol rapes the air and
I hold match in hand watching you dance
And douse yourself even further.

I wonder will you still wear your grin,
When the smallest whiff of sulfur catches
Your nostrils, will you sweat?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • midnight51
    October 23

    Edit | Reply

    I'm not sure S2 flows very well.  Maybe a little bit of rewording?  This is an intriguing start.  Leaves me interested in where it will lead.

     

    Josh 


  • Rejected Easter Egg
    September 28
    Edit | Reply
    hmmm.