i bet you don't know how peach flowers taste, you never tried munching them in the desert of your mind, have you?
they taste like sweet bitterness, you know, like something that slipped but didn't quite fall.
like a hesitation to do some forbidden desire... something like a sin that tastes so sweet but costs so much? Yeah, something like that.
that's exactly how my solitude feels, bittersweet like peach flowers they lovingly scratch the tongue with their tiny thorns but down in my stomach, they calm everything, bring peace, an intoxicating peace... one that feels like drugs.
do you know what memories do? i guess you don't. they turn the mind, bring the torn end of something so beautiful and slam it down before your eyes. it's like they are shouting:
'don't you the hell see what lies beneath beauty?'
i don't think your memories are that truthful with you or else you'd have sat under that shadow-less tree, just like me, and munched your teeth.
yes, solitude, sometimes, is the only thing that keeps us sane, the only thing that can actually entertain us...
even though it tastes bittersweet...
just like you, me, the world
and peach flowers...
(C)Noor 9/28/2009
Author notes
Contest prompt:
20 lines or less on: "for a lonely soul you're having such a nice time."
- keane.
I didn't capitalize the 'i's and other letters as a choice, just tried to try not doing that.
Thanks for reading!
In a list
A contest entry
- for a lonely soul, you're having such a nice time. by sharptooth.
700 points, ended October 13, 22 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Any suggestions for improvement?
Comments
-
i rarely capitalize anything in poems either, including "i"...so, fear not.
this was a really unique piece and i thoroughly enjoyed reading it.
the imagery and the conversational tone of it all made it seem like it was just real, raw thought with infusion of poetry and that's really refreshing to read. plus you make some really good points about solitude - esp in the last parts of the piece.
thanks for entering the contest
-
wow
just like tissane
-
This is a bitter shaweet write indeed,
but wonderfully penned and thought out...
Bravo!!!
All the best to you in the contest.
Ken
-
Wow~
Oh My Word Beautiful~ this bit hard and I had to step back for the
Energy was like Whoa ~
You took the prompt and ran home with it~
Bravo!!
This is a different write from You but packed a Powerful punch
Keep that quill dancing
Thank You for sharing Your Voice
Best wishes in the contest
with love & light~ Desire~*~
Adding your comment:
