the sharp blade hits the flesh
As a new gap opens in the skin
Bearing a new mark
A sign of pain and angst
Trickling down my wrist
The pain flows
I close my eyes
The sight of the crimson toxin
Makes me sick
But I feel so much better
I press harder
Go deeper
Making an unforgettable mark
Changing my life forever
I cant stop the pain
That feels so good
This pain hurts less
Than the beating in my chest
Burning and burning
I'm sick and demented
As I curl up in a ball
And look at your picture
I think to myself
YOU BASTARD!
:)
Comments
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Considering your young age and the sad tones of this poem it's hard for me to believe that this is personal and I hope it isn't.It seems that the girl you talk about has been heartbroken.From emotional pain she goes to physical pain,cutting.It's a bit absurd to say that physical pain,slitting your wrists makes you feel better.Idon't know if you're good in literature or if you've ever read any good books that aren't random teen fiction.But if you haven't ,I think you should.There's no message,no emotional language except a sad cliched story with a high dose of shallowness. Shallow cause you chose cutting,or idealize cutting and physical pain .Trying desperately to convince the reader that your eternal addiction brings happiness.
A suggestion,try something more original next time and if you want to keep writing then you should start reading more and more books.
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I thank u for your criticism but I tried to write happy I guess its just not in my vocab sorry
-Kaylee
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awwww so sad honey
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