Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Webbed

Candle burns
as a moon
ripples silver
on shallow waters,
tendering moonbeams
ladling down
thoughtful musings
from comedy larks
to comely writes.

craving momentum,
must needs an out.

Romance, love, life,
dead poets, heroes.
war and pity of war;
webbed in artful place
anything goes
on the threads of intrigue
conquering time 
endearing space.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • ZachP silver member
    November 2

    Edit | Reply

    Well done! Your background was some distracting

    but your poem was well written in the poets style.

    Wonderful! Thank you for sharing.


    Zach Estel. 

  • abu nuwas
    November 1
    Edit | Reply

    Ronnica

    Marvellous, just marvellous, especially first part.

    E


  • Andantino gold member
    October 20

    Edit | Reply

    Well Written

    Style is comparable to that of Cilla McQueen. The poem's flow is good and it is easily read aloud. Well Done. Good fortune in the Contest. Distracting webs but I made it!

    Danni


  • Freed by Mercy silver member
    October 7

    Edit | Reply
    You create a beautiful metaphor in the first stanza for this poem, whose subject is writing poetry, I gather. I like this very much.

    These words - burn's, lark's, need's and thread's do not need the (possessive or contraction) apostrophe.


  • albymyheart gold member
    September 30

    Edit | Reply
    This is quite a different write to see from you. I have read it a couple of times and find it quite an unusual write. The first stanza begins dreamy...candles, shimmering moonlight on shallow waters, and I thought I was entering a romantic escape until I came across the word "comedy" and realised this poem had a whole other agenda. I can see you have set the scene in the first section of this poem and covered the aspects of poets in the second half. This made the poem feel split to me, but on a second and third read it came together. I particulaly like your words "tendering moonbeams ladling down thoughtful musings"..."ladling" is such a great word choice...mmmmmm...nice. Anyway, they are my thoughts when I read this. Best of luck in the contest...Alby


    • ronnica
      October 2
      Edit | Reply
      Yes different I get tired of rhyme and need the distraction I can find in other poets so very different from me.Thank you again alby.

1 - 6 of 6