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Erotic Explosion

I open up my eyes and the first thing i see is you,

and you say tonights special because your bringing a friend through,

now there are two girls naked in front of me,

you tell me we're role playing and to say "what do you want from me",

i do and both of you respond saying "just your company",

and you both walk over to me,

and slowly pull my shirt off and pants down,

then we all lay down and you want me to go to town,

so i go between your thighs,

and begin to take you to another high,

now the other girl is getting lonely so you play with her,

while your cumming she asks me how do you like the taste of her,

i answer back saying i love it and she then starts cumming,

i wake up to find it was a dream and i get nothing.

Author notes

3rd prompt - sensual , warm what's in your head? Who is in your bed?

Excuse the slang word used to replace orgasm

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • guardianhost gold member
    October 11

    Edit | Reply

    Very Sensual

    Exceptional imagery, thank yo for entering the contest, We have two judges for our contest, sorry fo the delay - the process will be completed soon. thank you for entering our contest


  • Goddess of illusion
    October 6

    Edit | Reply
    lol...I really, really enjoyed this... Such sweet seduction and at the end only a dream... Don't you just hate that...

    I loved this write, dear poet

    keep penning with ink that never fade

    illusion


  • blueyez
    September 28
    Edit | Reply
    hahahaha that was funny... you got nuthin


  • whitecoffee
    September 28

    Edit | Reply
    lol! That was pretty hot in it's straightforwardness and I like the rhyme. This was very cool, much luck to you in the contest and welcome to AP!


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    September 28

    Edit | Reply
    Bugger!! Never good to wake up getting nothing

    Very heated write


  • individuality gold member
    September 27

    Edit | Reply
    okay, so what if i said to you that i find this erotic adult poem amusing? what is the difference, for you to come into my poem and say such things. i am a complete stranger to you and you are to me but would you smile if i came here without you first visiting my poem and said, it's amusing! i am sure you did not have amusement in your mind when you wrote this.


  • Jeremy0826 silver member
    September 27

    Edit | Reply
    This is a great erotic piece! I love your imagery and rhyme throughout this one. Thanks a lot for sharing it and all the best to you in this contest!




    Jeremy0826


  • Manda Kathryn Greeters member
    September 27

    Edit | Reply
    This is a sensually erotic poem that sizzles on the page though I'm going to suggest fixing the spacing of the lines as the gaps give the illusion the poem is longer than it is and interrupts the flow Hot write mate

    Best of luck!
    ♥
    Stay safe
    ~Manda


  • Roland Welles gold member
    September 27

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. I love how the first and last lines set this up as a dream, and how a young man's fantasy coming true, ends up becoming nothing... Also like the use of subtle, rather than "in your face" rhyme... Keep puttin' the ink to paper!

    Peace,
    Russell

1 - 9 of 9