I'm not in love. [just in denial.]

Dear Weaver,


                      I have become quite transfixed by the intricate web you've woven around my desperate little heart. So..Delicate, your hold on me, and yet, just like the proverbial spider, I just can't escape your grasp. Cliche is the only word that fits this...unconventional loving of the prince by the toad. Wait! I'm afraid I have the fairytale all fucked up, but the analogy fits nicely, doesn't it?
                      Was it eminent, that I would just sedately walk down the street, trip over you, fall in love, and break my neck? I'm not so sure, and if so, then fate..Oh, fate is such a cruel taskmaster.  Most would call it a blessing, knowing someone kissed so thoroughly by the love of God. A gift to man, you are!
                      It's almost a relief, knowing you don't, and never will love me. It makes it easier to belittle myself, but mostly, it just makes it easier to hate you. And that's really what this is working up to, isn't it? How the little girl feels so betrayed because her prince charming just won't love her. Hey, maybe if she'd spread her legs it would work! That's something new to try, eh? I mean he wouldn't REALLY love her, but she could live in the illusion for some time, bask in his warmth..or would that be other bodily fluids?
                    Heh, either way, the girl's still lying to herself. And oh, how I wish I was that kind of girl. But lying to myself has grown old, and gotten to the point to where I don't know the truth, so it really doesn't matter. Not to mention how I'm not that blind, I can see clearly, and especially when you thrust it in my face as often, and as hard as you do.  [You won't be sorry, and I wonder if this was a carefully planned destruction..But no, you don't have that in you. You're too good. And I could say I just need you to disappear, but then I'd be lying, and I'm really trying not to do that. I need an imposible transition, dear Weaver, a miracle.] But you're no Angel, and I'm not enough of a believer to be granted that boon.
                And, at the closing of this lovely little letter..I'd just like to say
[you can't break me. [but I'll still try.]

Sincerely for my own good,
Giulia.